December 26, 2003
The Grinch '03
A gift for you this Boxing Day: "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" has been updated for 2003. (More quality posting here later, folks. I've had a bit of a headache, been playing around with the site and almost chmod'ed it out of existence, etc.)
December 21, 2003
Sitemeter sucks
Can I just say how much I fucking hate Sitemeter and all the blogs its slow-loading little graphic/stats-measuring thingie prevents from opening properly? Die, Sitemeter, die.
November 26, 2003
Dude, Where's My Car? Part 2, Or: Cool Things to Do Now That I Can't Just Drive Off
Vote for Vote for Acid Keg as top web comic (Just Say No to the Return of Bloom County! Via Jim Treacher.)
Watch The Two Towers, the Extended Edition, all night instead of getting a good night's sleep. (Like I said -- it's a good thing I have the important stuff paid for, isn't it?)
Mmm... venison.
Hook up my own goddamn washing machine since the maintenance crew this apartment complex hires has a lousy attitude.
Curse as I realize my laundry detergent was left in my ex-car, to be retrieved from the Evil Repo'ed Car Holding Place along with my ancient U2 tapes, discarded kleenexes, and other personal possessions left in said car.
Walk to the grocery store to buy more detergent.
Contemplate extra time in the next few weeks to read some of my favorite blogger/webwriter dudes since I -- Hey, wait just a doggone minute -- %#^@%#*!!
November 08, 2003
Vegetables in cars
It seems that PETA is after the car industry to make special provisions for vegetarians. Yo, meat-haters, get a car with cloth seats; leather seats only come in luxury editions of cars. Say -- what are the compassion fascists in PETA doing promoting the use of environment-killing luxury cars anyway? In fact -- shouldn't they be protesting the existence of cars? I can't tell you how much roadkill I've seen in my life, but those squished armadillos weren't killed by vegans on bikes.
Oh -- and PS: god, look at all that beautiful leather. Why was I born rich instead of beautiful? I was at the mall today, and when I went into the store that beautful scent of tanned animal hide surrounded me.
November 05, 2003
The Semanticist and the Pedant
... sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G... Indeed, what to call the Evil Ones™ who attack both civilians and military personnel indiscriminately? There seems to be some fuss over the proper use of the word "terrorist" -- it seems that improper usage of the term violates union rule 4205-C section VI of the Code of Journalistic Rules. I have a solution. Why not just call the ones committing the aforementioned indiscriminate slaughter "dogfuckers"? That's what I do. (Note: sensitive souls may want to call them "dogf**kers" -- which of course means "dogfilkers" -- which means people who sing folk songs based on cheesy scifi stories to dogs.)
November 02, 2003
Message on an imaginary tee-shirt
"I went to the Tim Blair World Tour show in Minneapolis and all I got was this lousy hangover."
October 22, 2003
Your moment of zen
There was a post between this one and the 1-800-fatwa one. I have taken it offline. I may or may not put it back, depending upon a number of factors.
Update: oh what the fuck, the post is back. Let this be a lesson to you, boys and girls: don't step on the flaming paper bag, because you'll get petty shit all over your shoes.
PS: clean off the stink with this handy lye-and-gasoline concoction.
September 30, 2003
Just another day at Blogville Senior High
There's another blogger doing spastic backflips of outrage because he's not on someone's blogroll. Well. I wonder sometimes what people think of me -- I don't even make my blogroll public. I am not an advertizing agency, after all. Besides, I don't ever want you, my victims readers, to be able to leave the warm, comfy confines of Spleenville, mwahahahaha!
September 15, 2003
Adult education
At last, a web site language course that teaches one the important phrases. Samples:
We would like to buy some blubber.
Orssorsiniarpugut.
Have you stolen my budgie's turban?
Tu ai furat turbanul canarului meu?
I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.
Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.
Thanks, Tex!
Update: and perhaps the most useful phrase ever, in 102 languages! Thanks to reader Don. Hey, it could happen!
September 13, 2003
Your moment of... WEASELS ON CRACK LOL hahahahaha iä C'thulhu fthag'n
Badgers. And Mushrooms. And a snake and something blew up. Hold me, Mommy... (Bad influence.)
(Update: okay, I'm back in my silly mood so this is back up. I changed the date to today's.)
August 30, 2003
Weird spam
Someone apparently has confused me with the State Department, or a member of the Trilateral Commision, or... I have no idea why "Michael@hotmail.com" has sent me these two email messages:
This one, subject-headed "The Saudi Government" :
The Saudi Government: Is it or is it not linked to terrorism? It’s a question that attracts more questions than answers.If a link as tenuous as a donation from a charitable organisation finding its way into the hands of a person who may have committed a terrorist act, then quite possibly so. However, that connection is as remote as an American citizen’s purchase of a soft drink and the sales tax finding its way to finance terrorism in El Salvador, sponsored by the US government. The well known patriot Colonel Oliver North knows a bit about that sort of stuff!
The essence of the analysis is whether the donations by charitable organisations to individuals were made knowing that the money was to be used to support terrorist actions. On the micro level, the final use by the end user of every riyal or dollar from a collection box can’t be traced or followed or confirmed with 100 percent accuracy.
So far, nothing useful has been said, insofar as speculation, pages missing from reports and op-ed pieces in the media provide more heat than light and facts are woefully short.
The 27 deleted pages from a congressional are alleged to contain “very direct, very specific links that cannot be passed off as rogue, isolated or coincidental.” They are said by senior US officials to depict a Saudi Government that “not only provided significant money and aid to the 9/11 hijackers, but potentially allowed hundreds of millions of dollars to flow to Al Qaeda and other terrorist groups through suspect charities and other fronts.”
Potentially? Depict? Potentially, getting out of bed leads to death; safer to stay where you are. Much in the manner of the “weapons of mass destruction” debate and Tony Blair’s much vaunted but now entirely discredited Dossier on Iraq, potential is all that is offered. Depiction or description isn’t the production of fact.
The same congressional investigators that described these “potentials” also admit that they “found no specific evidence” proving that Saudi top officials – notably members of the Royal Family – conspired in any way to fund the Sept. 11 attack or other acts of terrorism.”
Not only has the Saudi government called for the release of the missing pages from the congressional report, so have several dozen US lawmakers.
Speculation feeds the media. Opinions are cheap and plentiful and descriptions of “potentials” very often repackaged and sold as fact at worst or at least knowledgeable comment.
Whilst this feeds up the August news famine, it’s time for some hard, checkable facts....please?
And this one, titled "Confusing accusations" :
Sultan Bin Abdulaziz is something of a hate figure to many western commentators. One of the more confusing accusations is that “he spends more than he earns, and borrows from the Saudi government at will and gives away billions of dollars to his constituents.”In the west, where that criticism emanates, that is known as ‘deficit budgeting’ and accounts for the National Debt – a feature of every developed economy. Held up for ridicule as “the Saudi modus operandi,” it applies equally well to the rest of the world from whom Saudi Arabia learned how to model its economy. Is this a case of the teacher telling the student that he has taught him the wrong thing – yet continues to practice it while offering ridicule?
These are confused messages. They show a lack of understanding of the traditional social structure of the Kingdom and the Arab/Islamic world. Centralized government – which is on the large scale what tribal government was on the small scale – is the “modus operandi” of the Kingdom.
The ruling family does direct operations – but is subject to the checks and balances operated through the council of ministers and the Majlis Ash Shoura – a body of selected academics and committed professionals from industry and commerce who serve for a four year term. They stay where they are because they fulfil the operational and religious requirements of the Saudi constitution – which, if critics in the west ever chose to read it, is the Qur’an. It allows for the removal of rulers if they do not meet strict demands and cater for the welfare of their people.
Prince Sultan’s personal wealth is often targeted – “he has made more than $60 billion between 1976 and 1993.” If, as his critics say, he spends more than he makes, perhaps that should read “he has given away more than $60 billion between 1976 and 1993.” It would make Bill Gates and his charitable foundation give pause for thought. It would also be anathematic to the Kingdom’s detractors to look at expenditure in any other way than corruption.
Even the detractors admit that to anyone that knows him; Prince Sultan’s outstanding feature is generosity. This is reported as “Prince Sultan is willing to pay in order to keep everyone in check.” Is then charitable donation or salary or commission for services now to be described as bribery? If that’s the case, who is innocent? Certainly not the detractors.
It is quite true that Prince Sultan operates a horizontal management style – is reluctant to delegate. What is odd is that this is offered as a criticism, whereas the “hands on manager” is usually praised in other countries. A review of his early childhood and the kind of environment and tradition he was brought up in would illuminate the reason for this style.
His early years age six to fifteen – were spent in the court of his father, King Abdulaziz – receiving education in the traditional Najd style and learning the realities of political manoeuvring and deal-making from visiting western businessmen with interests to develop – for their own profit. They gave examples of the techniques and these lined up well with the traditional way of governance in the Kingdom.
Tradition is the key word; Saudi traditional society relied on alliances and deals, family bonds and marriage as a way of cementing them. That doesn’t sit too well in the western world – although monarchical and political dynasties abound. However, techniques used by the west in the search for oil-sources only reinforced Saudi traditional social management technique, they didn’t corrupt it.
The truth is that Saudi Arabia and one of its highest profile leaders is an obvious target for shrill criticism, frequently using unsupported allegation, smears and entirely un-defendable personal attacks.
It’s part of the price of leadership.
Thank god for copy-and-paste; through the magic of click-and-drag I can transfer both wads of boring text from my email to this blog without actually have to read any of it. What, is FreeRepublic.com down?
Chivalry for all?
The chivalry of men towards their female friends is a wonderful thing to behold. But I wonder -- would there be a similar linking of arms and presenting of shields for a single mother-to-be who was a not-particularly-attractive or intelligent person of no importance who was unknown to any of these doughty males?
August 27, 2003
Ken's In
Oooh, I am liking Ken Layne's new site look. It's not really too different from the old black-and-white look, but the red gives it a certain... something. Now I'm kinda wanting to go minimal again... I also wish I could spare the few bucks to buy the cd, but I am saving up for an apartment downpayment. But soon...
August 24, 2003
August 23, 2003
August 13, 2003
Scalability
The abuse dished out at Spleenville will always be fair and balanced.
(Michele made me do it.)
August 10, 2003
August 09, 2003
Secrets of the South
Acidman tells the world the truth about chitlins. No, I've never eaten them. Yes, I knew what they were.
August 07, 2003
Love and Marriage
Lileks is back from his server woes exile, and he has a take on that gay-bishop fuss that I haven't seen from anyone else so far. You know what? I agree with him.
Just 'cos I'm in a good mood, I'll leave comments open for this one. Have at it. But try to stay on topic.
Stat this
You know what I hate? I hate all those stat thingies on websites. You know, the ones from Bravenet and Sitemeter and whatnot. I am so freaking tired of websites not loading completely because the stat site's server is down or something. Sometimes just hitting the "stop" button works, sometimes it doesn't -- for whatever reason, the site I am trying to get to won't load its content unless the stat link finishes loading.
July 28, 2003
Wascawwy Wabbit
Some of you may have seen a picture of a bunny with a pancake on its head, sometimes with the caption, "I have no idea what the fuck you are talking about, so here's a picture of a bunny with a pancake on its head." Well, here is that rabbit's website. His name was Oolong... many and varied were his adventures.
(Via Beermary.)
July 25, 2003
Now for a word from our sponsors
Remember that Honda web ad that everyone was yakking about? This is a "similar" effort. Yeah, similar...
(Via Tex at Whacking Day.)
July 16, 2003
I see London, I see France...
Okay, I have a question. It's about this softcore anime pr0n thing. If they can draw bouncing boobies and closeups of short-short-clad bottoms, when what the frack is it with the insectoid anime-creature face? All eyes and hardly any mouth or nose -- sorry, but the facial features -- or lack thereof -- of most anime characters totally turn me off, I don't care how well the bodies are drawn.
(Note: I actually like the rest of the picture that I linked to on AstreaEdge's site. but that noseless, mouthless face... {shudder}.)
July 07, 2003
The end is near: sign no. 7845
Brought to you by the Internet (the gift that just keeps on giving): Testicle Theater.
Do not blame Meryl -- she is but a victim of forces of evil greater than mortals can resist.
Military syntax
You know, I hate the word "blouse." I always have. As a person of the female gender I am supposed to refer to certain of my torso-covering garments as "blouses" but since I hate that word I never do. I have t-shirts and shirts but I don't have "blouses." (I don't care much for the word "top" either. It sounds like an adjective looking for a noun.) Anyway, chalk this up to Reason No. 4571 why I would never have made it in the military .
(Via Meryl Yourish.)
July 01, 2003
This explains so much
Well dang: even the cosmos is pissed off. (Click for larger pic.)
(Via Scott Chaffin, via Charles Hill, via Greeblie Blog. (Mmm, blogcest...)
June 28, 2003
Radio killed the video star
So, I keep hearing about this Michael Savage guy, who is some sort of conservative radio talk show host pundit spewmeister thing. Huh. I've never heard his show, unless it was for about five seconds until my hand could get to the dial to change the station. I don't listen to talking on the radio -- talking without visible faces annoys me. (Yes, talking on the phone is not my favorite activity, and it cheeses me off if someone in another room is watching the tv and I can hear the dialogue clearly. This is my point of psychosis, okay?) Anyway, I had a thought -- considering Michael Savage's show is apparently called "Savage Nation," what do you think of me changing my name to "Tar"? Think I can get a radio deal and have people fawning all over me/frothing at the mouth at my existence?
Eh, never mind. I hate talking, and in showbiz you gotta shmooz, and I don't shmooz.
June 26, 2003
Things are tough all over
So that's what happened. Hey, now I have something in common with James Lileks, besides the fact that we are both human and hate the Seventies with an all-abiding passion. Well -- I wasn't laid off, I quit, and he wasn't laid off, but still -- nothing like that "So, what am I going to do now?" feeling! (Okay, I did have a plan, and I did have a good job interview, and--)
Well -- those orange shag rugs were hideous, weren't they? The way little strands of yarn would come loose...
June 23, 2003
The perfect man
...would not do any of the things in this list. Not to me, unless he wanted to be the perfect male corpse. Here are my responses to the fourteen points (there were supposed to be more, but the person whose site the list came from was only able to make it to number fourteen):
1. Know how to make you smile when you are down!
Leave me alone. That makes me smile.
2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.
The hell? Don't freaking sniff me, you weirdo.
3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence.
No one does this. No one. Don't even bother dreaming of it.
4. Give you the remote control during the game.
"Oh good, the game's on! That means I won't have him bugging me" (like, wanting to smell my hair and stuff) "for at least two hours."
5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.
Do this if you want me to jump ten feet in the air and then kill you on the way down for scaring the crap out of me.
6. Play with your hair.
The hell--? Get your hands out of my hair, bitch! Unless you like cat saliva all over your hand. My cat likes to sit behind me on the back of the futon and lick my head.
7. His hands always find yours.
I am usually writing or typing or doing something like that. So if he finds my hand and messes up what I am doing he's going to pull back a nub.
8. Be cute when he really wants something.
Unless he looks like this, the cute shit isn't going to get much of a response from me. As a matter of fact, looking like this won't get Mr. Cute what he wants. (It may get me what I want, but that's another matter altogether.)
9. Offer you plenty of massages.
Show me the guy who will be satisfied with merely giving you "plenty of massages," and I will show you your paid masseur.
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.
I don't dance. I hate to dance. I watched Footloose and secretly sympathized with the dance-hating preacher.
11. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.
What. The. Hell. This is so psychotic. And they say women never abuse men.
12. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.
I would have liked to have seen the look on my then-boyfriend's face if I had told him to leave one hour after driving all the way down to Miami from Orlando to see me.
13. Stare at you.
What?!?!? Whoever put this list together is some kind of major freak.
14. Call for no reason.
I hate that. I hate talking on the phone anyway. I hate getting "calls for no reason" even more. Anyway, how flattering is it to get a phone call from your significant other and to be told, when you ask why he called, "Oh, no reason."
So anyway. I guess I am not "romantic," or whatever the originator of this list (it was one of those email things) is trying to be. Yay me.
June 22, 2003
June 18, 2003
Your pretty face is going to hell
Acidman has a running thread on the subject of women's blogs, and how they are just too durned pretty, like those homes where the toilet paper is hidden under a crocheted cover. So what do you think -- is my blog 1) too pretty, or 2) not pretty enough? I've been feeling like doing a (drumroll) site redesign...
June 12, 2003
Metafiltered!
A Tale of Two Moxies. IS this supposed to be important or something?
I got the heads up from Jim Treacher.
Oh wait -- dig Kevin! My man. Now, I've got to go rinse dye out of my hair. Later, peeps.
June 11, 2003
The original internet hippie
Oh, this is funny -- and cruel, which is why it is funny: Simple Guide to the A-List Bloggers. Sample:
“In the beginning was the Blog, and the Blog was with Dave, and the Blog was God. The same was in the beginning with Dave. All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life; and the life was the light of men. And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness (everyone but Dave) comprehended it not.”
(Via Richard Bennett via Robert Scoble.)
Update: someday someone will get to the Z-bloggers such as myself. By then people will be blogging on plasma filaments with their brainwaves, but hey...
Updated update: now how would I know why Adam Curry is considered an A-list blogger? Methinks I smell a whiff of self-parody there...
(By the way, who the hell is Andrew Orlowski? He must be the author of this piece.)
June 10, 2003
Rejected license plate slogans
Aw, heck, I think these are pretty cool. Sample:
Iowa: The "Holy God This Is Boring" State
Minnesota: The People Who Laugh At Garrison Keillor
Nevada: Hookers and Craps -- American Paradise
Ohio: Mayo Goes On Everything
Vermont: Birthplace of the Insufferable Hippie
Washington: Not The Cool Washington, The Other One
Washington, D.C.: Try The Crack
Wyoming: I Live In Wyoming. Please Kill Me.
Florida's was kind of dull, though. I'd have said something like "Florida: Now Get Out!" since that is the sentiment of most of the people who are already here, including the people who just moved here yesterday.
June 07, 2003
June 06, 2003
What the fuck?!?
This fucking sucks. Bunch of fucking wankers -- I'd like to fucking see these asshats try to fucking stop me from
(Via Tim Blair.)
May 23, 2003
Stupid people catcher
I suppose there are a lot of people who, seeing an email from address "microsoft@support.com," and reading the cryptic subject "important information!" and the equally cryptic message "all information is in the attached file" would be so unwise as to click on said attached file, which was labelled "screensaver" and called something.pif.* However, I am not one of those people.
*I forget what, because I deleted it immediately.
May 20, 2003
I should not have read this
Gee, thanks, Mr. Cosh, for making me regret eating that peanut butter sandwich just now.
May 18, 2003
Shot from a cannon
Concerning so-called "assault rifles" and the proposed ban thereupon -- I have a few things to say. No -- actually, I have just one thing to say:
ALL RIFLES ARE ASSAULT RIFLES YOU FUCKWITS.
Jesuschrist when is the stupidity going to end? You can't say "that there is an assault rifle" as if there was otherwise such thing as a "cuddle gun" that gives you a hug instead of putting a hole in you, or a "warm blanket rifle" that tucks itself around you to keep you from getting a chill. This "assault rifle" thing is beyond stupid, something only a nanny-wannabe from Betty Friedan's suburban hell could possibly think actually was a sane category. Guns, rifles, knives, etc., are weapons, and weapons have one main purpose, and that is to assault the other fool before he can assault you. That's what self-defense is, by the way (let me just insert this here for the benefit of all those people who keep whining about the US and its "pre-emptive wars"). It's not some sort of Disneyesque ideal of standing Staunch and Firm and Frowning Authoritatively and Speaking in a Loud, Clear, Calm Voice to the world's villains until they are overcome with the shame of their own perfidy and slink away to sulk in a cave.
Anyway, Frank's list is funny. Read it.
Warm Featherette
The American Imperial Cultural Hegemon continues its invasion of the pristine sands of the Middle East! Oh the humanity! When will it end, when????
Future posts
I'm putting this up to remind me of some posts I want to do today, when I get around to it/have more coffee in me:
A subject near and dear to my coal-black heart has been brought up by Steven Chapman (at 12:46 GMT on Sunday May 18) and Brian Micklethwait over at Libertarian Samizdata: High-Brow Littrichoor vs. what people actually want to read.
Speaking of Tolkien (heh), I've been wanting to post for some time on some things he brought up in an essay in The Tolkien Reader called "Ofermod." (That's an Anglo-Saxon word that means something like "hubris" did to the Greeks, only not really.) Maybe if I put this reminder note here I will get to it.
I was going to blog about China Miéville's scifi-fantasy-grotesque novels but I have yet to read Perdido Street and The Scar all the way through. So that will have to wait.
I can't resist rattling the bars of the cage: A.C. Douglas tossed a brand onto the fire a few days ago when he asserted here that there are more quality female-written blogs than male-written blogs.1 Naturally I have something to say about that. (Muahahaha... rubs hands together in wicked anticipation.) (1. Update: must... concentrate... must... learn to count/read/see/type... But I still have much to say about gender superiority in writing. Or, well, something, anyway.)
In the comments to this post, my assertion that college isn't necessary for everyone ruffled some feathers. I'll be expanding on my reply there. (Maybe I should add that permalinking feature for individual comments to my blog. We'll see.)
Boycott Hollywood links to this interview with Janeane Garofalo. My opinions on what she has to say are forthcoming. (Side note: "forthcoming" -- now there's an Anglo-Saxon word-formation.)
I can't remember anything else I want to do a post on right now, but I'm sure I'll think of more later. But I think this is enough for now.
May 15, 2003
Feel the love!
I've got fans. Refresh for some of my best sayings. Couldn't have designed it better myself. (PS: I guess this was supposed to be some sort of insult, but I'm rather flattered instead. Sorry, guys.)
Update: bwahahahaha!
May 14, 2003
Bring back the blink tag!
I think this is the first time in internet history that a website has been criticized for not being flashy enough.
I can see clearly now
All this time I had Clear Type as part of XP and I didn't know it. Rock. (Thanks to Donald Sensing for the tip.)
May 11, 2003
Of course I am
You are smart and sexy!
Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Via Jet's Place.
May 10, 2003
Blogs across the water
Here's a blog from Iceland. Icelandic is another of those languages I always wanted to learn in my ever-shrinking "spare time." (I always thought the word "blog" had a kind of Nordic sound to it, and I like the sound of those languages, which is probably why the word doesn't awaken feelings of loathing in me that it does in other people.)
May 08, 2003
They do it over there but we don't do it here
Um -- I think that these clothing designs are missing something. Like... clothes.
(Via Tim Blair, who only reads FHM for the articles.)
[Bonus quiz: where did I get the title from?]
May 07, 2003
A piece of...
I hate it when the underwear rides up my ass like that. Don't you? (Via Tim Blair, who only subscribes to Maxim for the interviews.)
May 04, 2003
Why you shouldn't mess with me
Skadi is the Goddess of Winter and of the Hunt. She is married to Njord, the gloomy Sea God, noted for his beautiful bare feet (which is how Skadi came to choose him for her mate.) Supposedly the bare foot is an ancient Norse symbol of fertility. The marriage wasn't too happy, though, because she really wanted Baldur for her husband. She is the goddess of Justice, Vengeance, and Righteous Anger, and is the deity who delivers the sentence upon Loki to be bound underground with a serpent dripping poison upon his face in payment for his crimes. Skadi's character is represented in two of Hans Christian Anderson's tales: "The Snow Queen" and "The Ice Princess."
What Norse God Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
(Via Mixolydian Mode. Note: I didn't like the image the quiz maker used -- it was just too feckin' bizarre -- so I stole a more appropriate image from this website.)
Bad Girl
take the virgin-whore dichotomy quiz.
and go to mewing.net. where we're all studs.
Jeez. Just because I like to wear black a lot. And carry a whip. Is that so bad?
(Via redsugar muse.)
MY. EYES. THEY. BURN.
This is so wrong. Now I have visions of Saddam's man-titties, as he dances around at a tailgate party in Gainesville after a successful Gators game. Excuse me, I need to go pour lye in my eyes.
May 03, 2003
Die! Die! My Darlings!
I just realized -- you all do know what this means, don't you? No one will ever believe that a postmodern poet actually spent time thinking up those non-rhymes and broken phrases he/she calls poems anymore. In the back of everyone's mind upon being inflicted with the latest unrhyming anticouplet or deranged pseudo-villanelle will be the thought: "Oh, sure, Mr. Sensitive just went to the Automated Poetry Generator website and got that bunch of gibberish." Yay! Contemporary poetry has been vanquished! Whoever this Rob person is, he's a god to me.
If only I had known about this last year
...I could have aced my Creative Writing class. Well - actually, I did ace that class, but still, it would have been neat not to have to actually have to think up a poem for the poetry part of the class. I hate writing poetry. Anyway -- it's something called Rob's Amazing Poem Generator, and you put a URL into it, and it will turn the website into a poem. Here is my blog, poemized:
Too Much To have forgotten
or discounted
in their worries that married
dear old dad Links All bore me!
Posted by Andrea
Harris at 10:31 PM | Link | Comments
4 | TrackBack 0 > My blogroll which mall MJ would
patronize. It was
bad enough when the southern
brew failing grades. Gee...
American wine snobs. Via
Tim Blair today well,
Not responsible for myself, Posted by Andrea
Harris at
12:07 PM | Link | Comments 1 | TrackBack 0 > TrackBack 1
new Faq AIM: for my blog
is speculation that describes
me BORES! By Andrea Harris at the end of calling it degrades
women? click.
Via Ken Layne, who is just going wild with the thing.
May 02, 2003
Blogspot's new annoyance
This is what I am talking about (click for larger):
What the hell is that?!?
Spleenville weather: partly hostile with a chance of maniacal behavior later in the day
Yay! He's back! As for the rest of you, you all bore me! BORES!
By the way, some of you who have figured out how to open up my blogroll (hinty hint: click on "all the blogs." I am not responsible for non-responses in weird browsers based on Mozilla written for Macintosh computers using Linux. Bite me and get something normal) may notice a disappearance of certain blogs. They are all the ones that use Blogspot's evil software. But never fear -- they will reappear under their own blogroll, which will be dedicated to Blogspot blogs alone. I am thinking of calling it "Sad Blogger Loser Blogs," or "People Who Can't Figure Out How to Use MT or Some Other Real Blogging Software," or "People Too Cheap to Get Their Own Server Space," or something like that.
Hey, what did I tell you? Hostile! Possibly becoming maniacal! Get your umbrellas out!
Never mind. I'm kidding. I love you all, really. MWAH. (Iamsofuckingsickofnotbeingabletoopenblogsporblogsonacablemodemlineorgetti
ngthatstupidarchiveerrormessageorthenew"thiswebsiteunderconstructioncomeba
cklater"messagegoddammit)
At last, someone who understand me
Hey, it's the t-shirt that describes me perfectly. (I almost said "to a tee," but I stopped myself.)