Too Much To Dream

For some reason, I feel compelled to invoke Steve Martin's "Theodoric of York, Medieval Barber" SNL sketch.

{Cackle}

Doesn't the Finnish epic Kalevala tell of Kullervo, who ended up dashed to pieces at the bottom of a waterfall, and was sewn back together (and alive) by his mother? Or did I remember this wrong? Scholars of Nordic myth, feel free to guffaw at my iggerance.

Oh yeah - what I meant to say was: this story reminds me of that.

But you'd kind of figured that already.

So there is hope for Jimmy Carter after all. . . that is, if they can actually get his head out of his ass and clean it properly before performing the new surgery. Wow.

First John Wayne Bobbit, now this!

I'm going to pick a new body now, before all the good ones get taken.

I didn't realize the human head was only held on by two screws.

I don't remember that part of the Kalevala accurately, but that sounds right. (It's been a while since I read it, and my brain is still seared by an inept Finnish -- I think (it was dubbed, but who else would make it?) of the story of the Sampo that was subject to a Mystery Science Theater takedown. It did have one good scary scene with the evil witch or goddess or whatever, but the hero was played by an actor who looked like the Pilsbury Dough Boy with a wig. (If you don't know the reference, the Pilsbury Dough Boy is a pernicious advertising gimmick by the Pilsbury Bakery conglomerate: an animated "dough" man. That creature has been a feature of the commercials for their products ever since I was a child. Gahhh...)

Anyway... I do know that the Egyptian myth of Osiris has him getting chopped up and his parts being tossed all over the place. I don't think he gets sewn back together completely, though. Hmmm, Egypt...

I think I lost track of my parentheses there. Oh well.

As I recall, the only part missing from Osiris after being put back together was his penis.

Which left Isis most unhappy.

Hillarycare now! Before something like this happens again! We want socialized medicine, dammit! Free halfassed healthcare for all! Come on, who's with me? Can I get a free prescription drug benefit, y'all? Three cheers for Canada, whose health care system is so vastly and obviously superior to our own! Hello, is anybody out there? Is this thing on? Hello? Helloooo....

Since there was no cutoff of blood supply to the brain I suppose the poor kid wasn't really dead, so this is not like raising Lazarus from the dead. But, damn, it's close. Three cheers for that doctor and his team.