No, actually this American would have just asked politely for more peanut butter. After all, one itty-bitty packet is probably what her supervisor told her to give at first, probably to prevent wastage and/or pilfering. Not very customer-friendly, but I have been to restaurants where you had to ask for cream instead of that whitish "non-dairy product" for your coffee.
Now, if the waitress had said "No" to a request for more peanut butter, then heads would roll.
Update: now I'm beginning to wonder about what kind of people go for waitressing jobs in Canada. What, do they all resemble big, beefy ex-prison matrons? Is there a waitress union that will send some guys over to your place to smash your kneecaps if you don't meekly accept whatever the waitress gives you? Otherwise I am still not getting the "timid customer" theme here. I get that the idea that "the customer is always right" is just not adhered to in the kingdom of Peace, Order, and Good Government, but I don't get it. I guess it's an American blind spot. Or maybe it's the fact that I don't feel burdened by a culturally-imposed need to be polite, so therefore I find it easy to be polite. (Florida, at least the part of it I grew up in, has escaped that aspect of southern culture.)
And tipping has absolutely nothing to do with my point. I probably make less than Mr. Cosh -- in American dollars -- yet I try to tip at least the standard 15%. 20% if I am feeling flush; but that is the most anyone ever gets from me. There is no reason to feel obligated to give more -- 20% is one-fifth of what you paid, after all -- and no reason to feel guilty about it, and it is no one's fault but your own if you do. Intimidation should not be a factor in your outside dining experience, and if it is that should be a message that you might not want to patronize that eatery any more.
Posted by Andrea Harris at March 2, 2003 10:51 PMWow, I guess he didn't need his coffee topped off because he sounded a might edgy from the start. I suspect Andrea is correct about the frugality...or maybe someone at said establishment forgot to re-order and that was the last packet of peanut butter they had.
As an American, I find it quite easy to politely ask for additional condiments without nasty names OR slapping someone or calling their intelligence/skills into questions. And for the record, when I do get substandard service, I usually say very little and tip at exactly 15% of the bill rather than my usually 20% (or more), which is meant to reward for good to great service. At least, that's the way it works down here.
Posted by: Leigh-Anne at March 3, 2003 at 12:12 AMWhat can I say, the man really likes his peanut butter. I like Colby Cosh, and he says he likes Americans, but I wonder what kind of Americans he has met if his impression of us is that we'd go off on a hapless waitress for a petty thing like that. It's an interesting indication of the ways manners degrade in a socialist-lite/politically-correct society, until the workers have to be protected by official fiat because the custom of respect for the working person no longer exists. It's the capitalist rugged individualists, evil and uncaring pusher of old people off cliffs that we are, who know that whaling away at a waitress for anything other than rudeness or gross and unrepentant incompetence simply isn't done. (I'm not saying that there aren't people who do it, but they are frowned upon, not considered examples of behavior to emulate.)
Posted by: Andrea Harris at March 3, 2003 at 12:35 AMBeing rude to the wait staff is one of my "red flags" for people...if a person is rude to the waiter, then he or she likely isn't a very nice person in other ways too.
Posted by: Rita at March 3, 2003 at 07:17 AMI can't comment on the American's Colby's met, but I suspect his comments come more from his startling discovery that customer service is common in the U.S. In Canada its just an unsubstantiated rumour, nobody's actually seen it in person.
An American expects good service, Canadians do not. An American doesn't settle for less, Canadians do all the time. I think Colby's comments are meant as a desire that Canadians be more assertive, but not to the point of rudeness. After all- that would be un-Canadian.
Posted by: Biased Observer at March 3, 2003 at 09:54 AM"An American expects good service, Canadians do not. "
By these standards, most of the people who live in New Jersey are Canadian.
Posted by: mark S at March 3, 2003 at 10:15 PM