One wants to wash after reading a Mark Morford column. I have already remarked upon the silliness of Revolve, a repackaging of the Bible as a teen fashion magazine. Morford somehow got hold of a copy, and went into his predictable sweaty froth:
"Revolve" devolves the teen cause. Not a word about how individuality is cool and self-exploration is way bitchin' and that they themselves are divine, are all-powerful, and that sex is a gorgeous powerful wondrous sticky joy to be respected and enjoyed and explored and consented upon and well learned. Heaven forefend. That way debauchery and hellfire lies.
There's more, bizarre assertions that the Christians behind the book want to turn its female readers into "well-Valiumed housewives" (yep, it's right there in the NT: "And let the little children come unto me, that I may administer them their sedatives..."), references to "convoluted, slithery" things, and so on. Like Eye On The Left says, creepy.
(PS: anyone get the title reference? You probably won't, unless you're my age.)
Posted by Andrea Harris at September 22, 2003 06:09 AMI got the title reference. What was the name of the band? I've been looking for an earlier song of theirs, something like "Blackwater Hattie".
And you're both right, Morford is creepy. Ick.
Posted by: EvilPundit at September 22, 2003 at 06:19 AMI can't remember the name of the band either. But I can still hear the song in my head. Scary, isn't it?
Posted by: Andrea Harris at September 22, 2003 at 06:26 AMI'm gradually tracking down the songs that surrounded me in my childhood. It's amazing how much comes back when you look for it.
But I can't remember the band names as clearly as the tunes. Actually, I can't do that for current songs, either.
Posted by: EvilPundit at September 22, 2003 at 06:36 AMC'mon - all together now
I don't like spiders and snakes
but that ain't what it takes to love me,
you fool you fool
(Jim Stafford - remember his Swamp Witch? what a fox she must have been...)
Posted by: RDJ at September 22, 2003 at 07:24 AMRats. RDJ beat me to it.
Though I gotta say, Stafford did a lot of cool, fun stuff, but Spiders and Swamp Witch weren't among them.
Posted by: Ken Summers at September 22, 2003 at 08:00 AMHeh...I was thinking of Jim Dandy and Black Oak Arkansas. They either did a cover, or something similar.
Posted by: Scott Chaffin at September 22, 2003 at 09:54 AMJeebus. A barrel, a smoking gun, a completely uninjured fish, and a bloody hole through Morford's left foot.
Note to self for future use: the old "She just needs to get laid" putdown doesn't count as sexist provided you suggest a vibrator instead of a man.
Posted by: Paul Zrimsek at September 22, 2003 at 05:07 PMI'm convinced that Mark Morford is a virgin. He has to brag about sex in the locker room so the other guys don't find out.
Posted by: Joanne Jacobs at September 22, 2003 at 05:58 PMI believe it's more a question of him trying to show Star-Kist his good taste; like other writers of the Salon/Utne school, Morford appears to regard sex as he would some obscure brand of capuccino which only the discerning few are able to appreciate.
Posted by: Paul Zrimsek at September 22, 2003 at 06:31 PMI've been to Starbucks a time or two -- what menu was the sex on?
Posted by: McGehee at September 22, 2003 at 08:44 PMAndrea, my thoughts on Jim Stafford here: http://www.velociworld.com/Velociblog/Oldvelocity/000202.html
Posted by: Velociman at September 26, 2003 at 01:03 PM