I’m so out of the loop since I quit watching MTV back in, oh, 1995 — I had no idea that they had a show as deliciously retarded as “Trippin’,” or as I am going to call it from now on “Celebrity Caca.” They’re up to episode 110! A gaggle of celebs descend upon Tanzania. Dig this:
After an exhausting hike, they see three chimps.
Three chimps! Imagine if these people ever went to Monkey Jungle.
As they approach the camp, a chimp suddenly walks too close to them. Everyone immediately take refuge in a cage. This situation is serious and requires that they follow Bill’s instructions carefully. Fortunately, no one is harmed.
Dang. We were so close to a wonderful reprise of that story about the guy getting his nuts ripped off by a baboon or whatever, but this time with celebrities! Think of the horrid, schmaltz-’n'-Splenda™ stuffed media specials that would have flowered in Hollywood after that: the tv docudramas (”Everything For Gaia — the Jimmy Fallon Story”, “The Truth About Actors and Chimps”), the me-too victim groups (”GAACC — Gay Actors Against Castrating Chimps,” “TDA — Testicle-Deficient Americans” — that will be popular as that describes just about every male in California these days), the celebrity dinners to raise money for… something (what color would the ribbons be? there my imagination fails). Opportunities lost…
It doesn’t surprise me that Cameron Diaz thinks that smearing shit on the walls is a great thing, since I’m sure that was one of her major means of creative expression as a youth. We’ll leave the colossal gall of extolling the virtues of being “in the middle of ‘nowhere,’ without running water, electricity, television, radio and the Internet” while a fucking camera crew is squatting right in front of them, no doubt along with a bevy of handlers to call for aid if Miss Barrymore or Miss Diaz gets bitten by a bug, unsaid.