If an actress poops in the woods, does it make any noise?
I’m so out of the loop since I quit watching MTV back in, oh, 1995 — I had no idea that they had a show as deliciously retarded as “Trippin’,” or as I am going to call it from now on “Celebrity Caca.” They’re up to episode 110! A gaggle of celebs descend upon Tanzania. Dig this:
After an exhausting hike, they see three chimps.
Three chimps! Imagine if these people ever went to Monkey Jungle.
As they approach the camp, a chimp suddenly walks too close to them. Everyone immediately take refuge in a cage. This situation is serious and requires that they follow Bill’s instructions carefully. Fortunately, no one is harmed.
Dang. We were so close to a wonderful reprise of that story about the guy getting his nuts ripped off by a baboon or whatever, but this time with celebrities! Think of the horrid, schmaltz-’n'-Splenda™ stuffed media specials that would have flowered in Hollywood after that: the tv docudramas (”Everything For Gaia — the Jimmy Fallon Story”, “The Truth About Actors and Chimps”), the me-too victim groups (”GAACC — Gay Actors Against Castrating Chimps,” “TDA — Testicle-Deficient Americans” — that will be popular as that describes just about every male in California these days), the celebrity dinners to raise money for… something (what color would the ribbons be? there my imagination fails). Opportunities lost…
It doesn’t surprise me that Cameron Diaz thinks that smearing shit on the walls is a great thing, since I’m sure that was one of her major means of creative expression as a youth. We’ll leave the colossal gall of extolling the virtues of being “in the middle of ‘nowhere,’ without running water, electricity, television, radio and the Internet” while a fucking camera crew is squatting right in front of them, no doubt along with a bevy of handlers to call for aid if Miss Barrymore or Miss Diaz gets bitten by a bug, unsaid.
(Via Right Wing News, further via Kathy Shaidle.)
December 12th, 2005 at 9:25 am
Someone - perhaps it was Jackie Mason? (I think it was a Jewish actor or comedian, given what the quotation is) said something along the lines of:
“My people don’t camp. After that 40 years wandering in the desert thing, it’s just not that appealing to think of sleeping outdoors”
(I have said similar, except substituting Scottish sheepherders for the Twelve Tribes).
I don’t know…there’s an essay in the whole mess somewhere about the decadence of Hollywood society when they think that giving up their lavish comfortable lifestyles (which 90% of the world’s people would almost kill to have 1/10th of) and go hang out in the woods and poop like animals. And that there are people who think that’s absolutely fascinating to listen to, that it makes “good tv.”
Me? It just drives me back to my novels and the Food Network (and, dear God, I hope they never come up with some kind of damn “we’re going make the celebrity chefs eat food bank food for a week and see what they do!” show)
December 12th, 2005 at 8:50 pm
Ricki, Annie Liebowitz (right name? magazine photographer) used essentially that line. I don’t know if it was original with her.
When I heard her use it on some late night talk show, she followed “my people don’t sleep outside” with “except during a pogrom”.
December 13th, 2005 at 3:47 am
Trippin’
Hi, everybody, I’m Cameron Diaz, and you’re watching Trippin’, where my friends and I travel around the world to totally exotic countries so we can learn about indigitous people and talk about Earth Day, which is probably coming up soon.
December 13th, 2005 at 6:03 am
So, I take it they didn’t have toilet paper.
No, forget that. I don’t want to know.
We’ll leave the colossal gall of extolling the virtues of being “in the middle of ‘nowhere,’ without running water, electricity, television, radio and the Internet”
Sounds like my weekend. Moved house. Nothing worked. Spent a day finding hidden taps and switches that someone had thoughtfully turned off for me.
December 13th, 2005 at 10:09 am
I always thought the purpose of civilisation was to not live like a beast.
BTW, Cameron Diaz simply expanded her horizons from walls to movie screens.
December 13th, 2005 at 8:40 pm
Bad Trippin’
OK, I had never heard of this silly-sounding shit until yesterday when Andrea Harris wrote about the MTV show Trippin’. Actually, I don’t watch much TV at all besides the news, but I might have to make an exception for this one, or at leas…
December 14th, 2005 at 4:23 pm
I kinda get the impression that that’s essentially what she’s doing whenever she opens her mouth.