ADD

I‘ve already posted about how sick I am of hearing about breast cancer. Well, here’s another disease-of-the-month I’m sick of: autism, Asperger’s Syndrome, whatever the hell they’re deciding to call it these days. And while we’re down there, add ADD/ADHD/OCD — all those initials. Seriously, I’m sick of it. All of it, especially the “Asperger’s-Autism” part of it, seems to me to be another battle ploy in the endless war against introverted people who just want to be left alone.

Here’s how it goes: when you’re a kid it’s known as “she’s a little bit shy,” and there’s always a grown-up’s hand at your back shoving you at some group of kids you don’t know who will take one look at you and know they’ve got their chum (as in, food for the sharks) for the day. When you’re older it’s “We just want to bring you out of your shell!” and “Don’t you want to date boys? When I was your age I was always on a date!” and “Get your nose out of that book!” You think when you finally reach adulthood you’ll be left alone, and then the horrible truth dawns: you’ll never be considered to be fully adult, because while you were reading, and avoiding the others who were frantically socializing with everyone because they couldn’t bear to look into the dark void within their own souls, they retired the concept of “adulthood” and replaced it with “I’ve got such and such syndrome, want to hear all about it?” I’m finally saying “No, I don’t care.”

We’re becoming a nation of sickly, neurasthenic hypochondriacs, who can’t do anything without consulting our primary care physician. It doesn’t seem to occur to people that while they were ticking off the list of symptoms of some disease or other that’s covered by their HMO, they’re more easily controlled. People with children have it even worse, because we’re getting to the point where if parents don’t accept the diagnosis of the school-appointed physician of their child’s condition — if they dare to counter with “he’s just a typical boy” or “she’s just a quiet girl who likes to read,” or some such — social services will come and take their kids away and put them in a home where they’ll be indoctrinated in the new RiteThink. And the devastated parents will be remanded to Obamacare and no doubt diagnosed with “Clingy Parent Syndrome.” But it will be okay, because they’ll have their own ribbon.