October 13, 2003

Flying Pigs

Okay, just this one little thing set off a synapse: via Astonished Head I discover this product for toddler-liberals to toss across the room for imagined slights against Their!Civil!Rights!™: a copy of the Bill of Rights printed on a piece of metal, designed specifically to set off metal detectors in airports, thus setting off a manufactured crisis that will give the diaper-brains carrying them the Center of Attention moments they all crave daily. It is marketed by these tools. I think I have seen my Christmas Present for Assholes. An owner of one of these cute things wonders if he should "leave it behind," before he starts moaning about the awfulness of this "thing" we have "done to ourselves." Terrorists? What terrorists? As far as noodleheads like this guy (and Web Presence™ Cory Doctorow) are concerned, the only terrorists that have ever existed and will ever exist are the nineteen guys who died in their attack on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Since they are dead, obviously there is going to be no more terrorism, so what are we all doing this security stuff for? It's such a bummer, having to face up to your mortality every day, isn't it, Mr. Liberal World Traveler?

Posted by Andrea Harris at October 13, 2003 01:12 AM

Ya know, I do increasingly wonder what the hell good the TSA does, especially when it comes to the airport security procedures. But to act like this is an assault on civil rights... gah!

There's this little word "unreasonable" in the 4th amendment, as in "unreasonable search and seizure." Do you think these folks are aware of it?

Posted by: Dean Esmay at October 13, 2003 at 02:43 AM

Ooh ooh ooh! Can some of them take them through the metal detectors in schools too? No one is required to fly, but all the kids are required to go to school.

Answer for Dean: no. They rarely read the actual Constitution.

Posted by: Ken Summers at October 13, 2003 at 09:39 AM

I'd just like to SEE one of the toddler-heads come on-line with one of these in a crowded airport this holiday season.

I can almost guarantee you there will be violations of their civil rights beyond what they could imagine, on the part of the passengers who get stuck in line behind their little "tantrum"

feh. this sort of crap is why I take Amtrak, even though it's chronically late and the level of variability in employee helpfulness and cheerfulness is appalling.

Posted by: ricki at October 13, 2003 at 01:14 PM

I loved that quote from the Doctorow link:

"In checked luggage, where security may find it while I'm not around and decide to punish me for being clever..."

Here we have, dare I say, the Root Cause™ of the problem. These people actually believe they being clever.

Posted by: Emily at October 13, 2003 at 04:03 PM

Hmm. Do these people ever travel? I'm thinking they sound like they rarely leave their mothers' basements.

Posted by: Ann at October 13, 2003 at 08:21 PM

I've been doing this for months, except I use a Desert Eagle with the second amendment written on it.

Posted by: Alex Hidell at October 13, 2003 at 10:31 PM

Penn Gillette carries one of those (of Penn and Teller)

Posted by: Kevin at October 14, 2003 at 02:01 AM

Airline passengers may carry metal, as long as it's not in the form of a weapon. A flat sheet of printed metal would be easy for security to check, so there'd be no need to ostentatiously throw it away at the gate. So what's the point? I don't get it.

Posted by: Joanne Jacobs at October 14, 2003 at 03:20 AM

I don't get it, either. The one in the ad wouldn't get confiscated at an airport gate, since as noted above sheets of metal are not on the proscribed items list.

It did get me thinking, though. Wouldn't liberals get a rash from one of these that included the 2nd amendment? A really good "liberal edition" wouldn't be metal. It would be printed on a sheet of foam rubber, allowing it to be bent and twisted to fit the situation.

Posted by: Dave in LA at October 14, 2003 at 09:50 AM

Um, I think for some people the point might be that it's stupid to frisk little old ladies from Peoria, when the potential terrorists are young men from Saudi Arabia. Excessive and intrusive airline security is not the price we pay for terrorism; it's the price we pay for our own politically correct refusal to discriminate.

Posted by: Alan Sullivan at October 14, 2003 at 09:56 AM

Thanks for the link!

Posted by: Nelson at October 14, 2003 at 11:36 AM

If one carries it in one's pocket, then "forget" to put it in the little tray, that's supposed to be when the "fun" starts.

Posted by: MommaBear at October 14, 2003 at 04:29 PM

The point is to get themselves searched at the gate, so that afterwards they can go and write their little blogstories about how "In BusHitler/Ashkkkroft's Amerikkka, carrying a copy of the Bill of Rights gets you marked as a suspected terrorist!"

Posted by: Brendan at October 14, 2003 at 04:37 PM


Al Qaeda deliberately recruited Saudis because they weren't being checked carefully. You really think that if the US only concentrated on Saudis, they wouldn't try to find new people to use? Including, say, making a deal to get personnel from some eco-terrorist group, IRA splinter, or whichever?

Posted by: Craig at October 14, 2003 at 08:56 PM

Craig, if they do that & manage to pull it off, that'll be the end of the eco-terr movement. The IRA (even its truly loony sections like the Real IRA & the Provos) are sensible enough to know that helping Al-Queso like that would be the end of the line for them. They rely too much on funding from irish-americans who's knowledge of The Troubles comes from the songs they hear on March 17th down at their local. The deep greenies, on the other hand, I can see them doing something like that. Their funding base are just the sort of moonbats who'd support that sort of direct action against the bushitler.

Posted by: Cybrludite at October 14, 2003 at 11:55 PM

Craig - most of the prisoners in Guantanamo are also Saudi, because al Qaeda is a Saudi financed and (mostly) Saudi-run paramilitary organization.

That said, the greenies and some western fascist groups hate the American govt. & Bush as much as al Qaeda does. They probably wouldn't mind helping out a bit.

Posted by: mary at October 15, 2003 at 08:59 AM

Cyber - the most prominent wing of the IRA are the Provos. The two main splinter groups are the Real and the Continuity IRA. The Provisionals split with the Original IRA - the IRA of Michael Collins - in the late 60's. The OIRA went on to become the Workers Socialist Paradise Organization or some garbage like that and later disbanded entirely. Just so you know.

Posted by: Emily at October 15, 2003 at 08:00 PM

I've always wondered, Craig, if a Mideast terrorist group didn't do exactly that in Oklahoma City. That ended the militia movement as a mainstream force and ensured Clinton an easy 1996 win.

Posted by: David Ross at October 15, 2003 at 08:06 PM