August 17, 2003

Appalled, again

Jesus

H.

Christ.

Posted by Andrea Harris at August 17, 2003 11:30 AM
Comments

Quite.

Just by the way, what does the H stand for?

Posted by: Scott Wickstein at August 17, 2003 at 11:39 AM

Howard.

It's a common corruption of term "hallowed" from the Lord's prayer. As the old saw goes it was not unheard of for soldiers with little education or religious schooling to pray the Lord's prayer and mis-pronounce the word hallowed as Howard. So the prayer was inadvertently altered to go; "Our father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name."

Now theologically speaking, and being logical folk, since we know that Christ's first name is in fact Jesus and God the Father's name is Jehovah, it stands to reason that Howard must be God's middle name. Now there are those theologians who argue (rightly or wrongly) that God the Father's true name is really Yahweh or Elohim or El Shaddai. But that doesn't really matter does it? Since none those begins with an "H" and Jesus's last name is Christ we can safely assume the Howard is indeed God's middle name.

Mystery solved. Now if you'll excuse me I shall prepare the asbestos underpants for my trip to the underworld.

Posted by: Modean at August 17, 2003 at 12:29 PM

You sure it's not Hilary?

Posted by: michele at August 17, 2003 at 01:20 PM

Nothing like a piquant bit of over-the-top blog warring in the morning.

I found the exhaustive "sleuthing" by commenters on one site particularly wanktastic.

Jesus H. Christ, indeed.

Some people need medication. Stat.

Posted by: Tracey at August 17, 2003 at 01:27 PM

As those who have some knowledge of American literature know, Samuel Clemens(A.K.A. Mark Twain) once apprenticed as a printer, and was engaged in that trade for a while.

Once he printed some stuff for a preacher/minister, and ended up printing the given name of the second member of the Christian Trinity as J. Christ. The minister didn't like this, warning Clemens to never, NEVER, abbreviate the name of the Savior again.

The next time he did some work for this religious worker, he printed the name out in full. H-E-double toothpicks.

Which is how I feel sometimes.

Posted by: Dark Avenger at August 18, 2003 at 02:30 AM