Too Much To Dream

Starve them for our own good

Chuck Simmins and Kathy Kinsley comment on recent protests against feeding the starving. Actually, the protests are against using "genetically manipulated" crops and other modern farming techniques in third world countries (that is, feeding the starving). In other words: let them eat cake made with wheat grown the good, old-fashioned "organic" way; that is, the way that isn't working anymore in much of Africa and other third world countries -- the ways we abandoned here in the West centuries ago, except for a minority of granola-heads.

I have a simple test of judging organically-grown produce vs. produce grown using those horrid "modern" methods that are supposed to turn the human race into mutant three-eyed monsters or something. (Which, however, live to be ninety-five years old and die fat and rich, but who cares about that when you have an icky third eye in the middle of your forehead! Actually, I think it would be cool to have a third eye in the middle of my forehead. The two I already have don't work that well.)

Anyway, the test is this: I go to the produce section and look at the organic vegetables. Then I look at the Eville Mutation-Inducing vegetables. I observe that the Eville Mutation-Inducing vegetables are larger, more colorful, and less-blemished than their good, old-fashioned naturally-fertilized counterparts. I buy the Eville Mutation-Inducing veggies (which are also about two-thirds cheaper than the organic stuff), take them home, eat them. And yes, I have tasted both versions of veggies and I have been unable to discern any taste difference.

So, we shouldn't foist our Eville Mutation-Inducing agricultural techniques and seed crops, ones we have used to make us into the most overfed nation on earth, onto the poor, starving third-worlders, because European Union agribusinesses will suffer we can't let Uncle Sam do anything that makes it look good who needs so many black and brown people anyway? It's population control It makes granola-munching hippies, who shit fifteen times a day due to their fiber-intensive "healthy" diets, feel better if people everywhere are as miserable as they are it might benefit the companies that manufacture and sell these techniques and crops. We can't feed starving people if there is a chance that someone somewhere might make a profit off it the act. A corporation that makes a profit is more evil than mass starvation. Have I got that right?