June 25, 2003

Starve them for our own good

Chuck Simmins and Kathy Kinsley comment on recent protests against feeding the starving. Actually, the protests are against using "genetically manipulated" crops and other modern farming techniques in third world countries (that is, feeding the starving). In other words: let them eat cake made with wheat grown the good, old-fashioned "organic" way; that is, the way that isn't working anymore in much of Africa and other third world countries -- the ways we abandoned here in the West centuries ago, except for a minority of granola-heads.

I have a simple test of judging organically-grown produce vs. produce grown using those horrid "modern" methods that are supposed to turn the human race into mutant three-eyed monsters or something. (Which, however, live to be ninety-five years old and die fat and rich, but who cares about that when you have an icky third eye in the middle of your forehead! Actually, I think it would be cool to have a third eye in the middle of my forehead. The two I already have don't work that well.)

Anyway, the test is this: I go to the produce section and look at the organic vegetables. Then I look at the Eville Mutation-Inducing vegetables. I observe that the Eville Mutation-Inducing vegetables are larger, more colorful, and less-blemished than their good, old-fashioned naturally-fertilized counterparts. I buy the Eville Mutation-Inducing veggies (which are also about two-thirds cheaper than the organic stuff), take them home, eat them. And yes, I have tasted both versions of veggies and I have been unable to discern any taste difference.

So, we shouldn't foist our Eville Mutation-Inducing agricultural techniques and seed crops, ones we have used to make us into the most overfed nation on earth, onto the poor, starving third-worlders, because European Union agribusinesses will suffer we can't let Uncle Sam do anything that makes it look good who needs so many black and brown people anyway? It's population control It makes granola-munching hippies, who shit fifteen times a day due to their fiber-intensive "healthy" diets, feel better if people everywhere are as miserable as they are it might benefit the companies that manufacture and sell these techniques and crops. We can't feed starving people if there is a chance that someone somewhere might make a profit off it the act. A corporation that makes a profit is more evil than mass starvation. Have I got that right?

Posted by Andrea Harris at June 25, 2003 01:32 PM

Thanks for noticing. The top post on my blog right now comments on the nude protest, and the organic crops the protesters are growing.

Blogsh*t isn't available, so no permalink.

Posted by: Chuck at June 25, 2003 at 02:04 PM

As far as I understand the mindset, the answer to your last question would be "yes".

Don't mind me, I just like answering rhetorical questions!

Posted by: Kathy K at June 25, 2003 at 02:37 PM

Sounds pretty dead on to me...

Posted by: Demosthenes at June 25, 2003 at 02:57 PM

The Left™: Putting Politics Over People for 150 Years

Posted by: McGehee at June 25, 2003 at 03:45 PM

As I posted in someone else's comments... (Can't remember where. Losing lots of brain cells these days. Must be all those Eville Mutation Inducing veggies) anyway... I think we should round up all the granola heads and send them to Africa and make them grow enough crops to feed the starving the healthy organic way. And none of that evil modern farming equipment either. Hoes and rakes are produced by corporations you know.

Posted by: Lynn S at June 25, 2003 at 03:57 PM

Right on the money, Andrea. Fair trade first before saving lives. Besides, I think the EU wouldn't have much to worry about in a generation or two when Africa becomes a silent continent.

Posted by: O. F. Jay at June 25, 2003 at 05:31 PM

The EU cares more about politically correct environmentalism than it does finding any way to stop the famine... and so long as the cannibals aren't eating genetically modified people, than it isn't a real problem.

Posted by: Watcher at June 25, 2003 at 07:26 PM

So long as the cannibals aren't eating Europeans it's no problem, to the Euros.

Posted by: Michael Lonie at June 25, 2003 at 08:57 PM

Perhaps we should feed the third world countries Soylent Green?

Posted by: BillH at June 26, 2003 at 12:26 AM

Is it made out of real Greens?

Posted by: Andrea Harris at June 26, 2003 at 01:27 AM

It's a fairly common theme on the Left: one of the primary arguments offered against privatizing Social Security was essentially "Wall Street will make bazillions of money in brokerage and transaction fees." Oh, we were going to go stand in the lobby at the New York Stock Exchange and do our trading ourselves?

Posted by: CGHill at June 26, 2003 at 07:50 AM

To the Left, power is far more important than human lives.

Posted by: Peter at June 26, 2003 at 09:55 AM