Let me repeat: MICHAEL MOORE IS FAT.
He is a huge lardass, fattyfatfat, Fatty McFatperson Three-Big-Macs-Per-Minute Corpulent Sack of Fat. And his ego is ten times as fat. His self-regard is swaddled in layer upon layer of fat.
He is a BASTARD who is FAT.
That means he is a FAT BASTARD.
FAT FAT FAT.
Thank you, I'll be here all week.
Posted by Andrea Harris at May 20, 2003 11:51 AMNow one cotton pickin' minute here, Andrea. Fat Bastard was far funnier than Michael Moore is, and I don't even like the Austin Powers movies much. Please think again before you go around smearing innocent characters by association. Thank you.
Posted by: Dave at May 20, 2003 at 12:57 PMWhoops! My bad. You are right. Michael Moore is not Fat Bastard. He is my Lardo Fat Beeyotch.
Posted by: Andrea Harris at May 20, 2003 at 12:59 PMhmmmm. Maybe he's just a bastard, carrying a little winter weight???
Posted by: Wayne at May 20, 2003 at 01:03 PMDid someone really just use the phrase "cotton pickin'." Jesus Christ, what year is this?
Posted by: Nik at May 20, 2003 at 01:36 PMAre you insinuating something about Michael Moore? For Pete's sake, just come right out and say it!
Posted by: Ken Summers at May 20, 2003 at 02:15 PMAt least we know just what to say when he asks "Do I look fat in this?"
Hint: Yes.
Posted by: Mark from Monroe at May 20, 2003 at 02:27 PMMichele is wrong. He swallowed Ted Rall AND Lenin.
I think I picked the wrong day to stop drinking coffee....and Mickey Moore is getting LARGER!
Time to rent Airplane. My friend tried to D0wn704d Airplane from M0rf33us but it it looked like Mr. BiLll talking to Os-scar the GrouchMonster on a 50×50 pixel window. I guess you get what you pay for.... :)
Posted by: John Hysmith at May 20, 2003 at 06:11 PMAnd in other news, scientists have discovered that the Mojave Desert tends to be hot and dry.
(I think Ted Rall would be rather hard to swallow. So to speak.)
Posted by: CGHill at May 20, 2003 at 06:50 PMDave? Uh... okay. I'll just go curl up in a ball now. Don't mind me.
Posted by: Andrea Harris at May 20, 2003 at 11:09 PMOK, Phillip. Michael Moore is so fat:
-At the beach, he's the only one who gets a tan.
-He got on a scale and it screamed.
-He's got more chins than Chinatown.
-He's got to take the shoeshine boy at his word.
-His fortune cookie said, "You're fat."
And here's a classic:
-When he sits around the house, he SITS AROUND the HOUSE!
Any more?
Posted by: Mark from Monroe at May 21, 2003 at 02:01 PMHe's so fat he think the world revolves around him -- because it does!
Posted by: McGehee at May 21, 2003 at 04:59 PMdammit, these fat jokes must cease. i, for example, am not fat; i am looking forward to a career in sumo. i could be the comic caucasian relief sumo guy. i can see it now, wandering around japan in a diaper and knocking my fellow lardbellies on their fat asses with my gut. there's a man's life for you and dont let no one tell you any different
Posted by: akaky at May 21, 2003 at 06:19 PMMichael Moore is so fat...
- He fell and broke his leg, and gravy came out.
- It takes him three trips to haul ass.
- The Earth revolves around him.
- When he walks it would register on the Richter scale... but the scale only goes to "10".
It takes him three trips to haul ass.
<spit-take>
...which is hard to do when you're not drinking anything...
Posted by: McGehee at May 22, 2003 at 09:40 AM