May 15, 2003

Who needs The Matrix?

This promotional free cable teevee I'm getting provides a bunch of Showtime channels. On something called Showtime Extreme they're showing some wack kungfu movie called Master of the Flying Guillotine. I turned the channel just as it was in the middle of some crazy flashback all in magenta. Some guy with one arm was chopping the heck out of some crazy old man with a braid. Then it goes into normal (pretty good for 1975 too) color. There's this scene in one of those kungfu schools with the one-armed guy telling all his students about said flashback. Then this weird horn music starts playing and they all turn to stare at this weirdo who comes in doing this weird Oriental dance and playing a horn. Then he starts some chopsocky free-for-all goodness. And oh my god, is the dubbing awful.

Now this "Indian" guy in a turban with an owl on his shoulder just set the hero's room on fire. Now they are chopping at each other. I really must get around to watching my (undubbed) Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon dvd one of these days.

Posted by Andrea Harris at May 15, 2003 09:29 PM
Comments

And you said the 70s sucked!

Posted by: Scott Chaffin at May 15, 2003 at 11:10 PM

That is one of the classic ones! It even has (gasp) a decent story line that you can follow! I actually saw it in a theatre when I was growing up in the late 70's! Now available on DVD! One of my all time favorites! (Sorry about all the exclamations! I just couldn't help myself!)

Posted by: darksyde at May 15, 2003 at 11:59 PM

The seventies had their charms. But on the whole it was like sifting through garbage for the occasional cookie without too much mold on it.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at May 16, 2003 at 12:15 AM

Living in the seventies was, I meant.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at May 16, 2003 at 12:16 AM

Any decade that can produce a movie that can produce the review that you wrote has my vote for best decade ever in the history of ever! I'm still giggling, what, an hour later? AND -- I want an owl for my shoulder!

Posted by: Scott Chaffin at May 16, 2003 at 12:59 AM

I'm still hoping to find this way-cool kung fu movie they were playing in a Korean restaurant in my neighborhood one day when I went there for lunch. (Yes, I dote on kimchee.) It had kung fu, sword play, magic, and a brooding hero who looked like an Oriental Morpheus. (Neil Gaiman's Sandman character Morpheus, not The Matrix's Morpheus.)

Posted by: Andrea Harris at May 16, 2003 at 01:06 AM

Good thing the flick did not feature any devotees of Toyota - the Oriental art of chainsaw fighting. Yes, Toyota! No, not Michael Jackson's sister.

Posted by: Cracker Barrel Philosopher at May 16, 2003 at 01:30 AM

If you are looking for another "good" kung-fu flick, I can also recommend..."Shaolin Kung-fu Mystagogue". Lots of kung-fu, wire-fu and tricky weapons (A chainsaw?...HA! Who needs a chainsaw when you have the Bloody Birds!), a plot and a surprise ending! And it too, is available on DVD. And to think, I hesitated...

Posted by: darksyde at May 16, 2003 at 02:16 AM

I remember this one well; my friend and I watched it twice through a Coka Cola-induced haze of hyper-caffeination.

Good times.

Posted by: FormerLiberal at May 16, 2003 at 01:42 PM

I was in HMV earlier today and found a DVD copy of a movie which involved Jackie Chan trying to escape a Shaolin temple while fighting a mini-army of wooden robots.

Either that or someone spiked my lunchtime cup of tea.

Posted by: Steven Chapman at May 16, 2003 at 01:53 PM