At the bottom of this post Steven Den Beste complains about the dull, prosaic names Americans tend to give wars:
Unfortunately, these things have a tendency to name themselves rather than being susceptible to any deliberate naming. "Operation Desert Storm" was a reasonably catchy title, but eventually Americans came to call it "The Gulf War". (As if it was the only war which anyone had ever fought in the Gulf.) I suspect the current operation will end up being called "The Second Gulf War" or something equally prosaic. Somehow it seems a shame that we should end up giving such uninspiring names to places and times where we think the issues are so important that we're willing to send our young people fight, and kill, and die.
I was reminded -- of course! what were you thinking? -- of a passage in The Lord of the Rings -- the book, not the movie. It's in the chapter "The Grey Havens." The problem of what to call a new street of hobbit-houses, built as part of the restoration of the a battle-damaged neighborhood, has come up:
Posted by Andrea Harris at April 9, 2003 12:56 AM"The was some discussion of the name that the new row should be given. Battle Gardens was thought of, or Better Smials. But after a while in sensible hobbit-fashion it was just called New Row."
It was also called Sharkey's End, but that was a purely Bywater joke.
In the matter of naming the war I suggest, in good Hollywood fashion, Gulf War II: The Reckoning.
Posted by: Michael Lonie at April 9, 2003 at 02:08 AMGulf War 2: Electric Boogaloo? Gulf War 2: Die Harder? Sorry, I guess I've been permanently scarred by MST3K. And then there's always Mad Magazine's suggested Gulf Wars Episode II: Clone of the Attack (complete with Star Wars poster parody).
Posted by: David Jaroslav at April 9, 2003 at 09:08 AMNo, no, no. It HAS to be Gulf War II: The Wrath of Khan.
Personally, I think we should have named it Operation: Kick Saddam's Keister Up Around His Ears.
Posted by: MunDane at April 9, 2003 at 10:31 AMWell, if we're renaming the operation, I always preferred Operation Don't @#$!! With America.
Posted by: Kevin McGehee at April 9, 2003 at 01:34 PMMunDane,
Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn!!!!
Man, am I ever in a weird mood today.
Posted by: David Jaroslav at April 9, 2003 at 02:24 PM"Gulf War 2: Die Harder?"
Gulf War with a Vengeance.
Posted by: Aaron the Mad at April 9, 2003 at 03:37 PMNo, Aaron, that would be the third one: the one coming up shortly with Iran and/or Syria.
Posted by: David Jaroslav at April 9, 2003 at 04:27 PMI'm betting it will be called the fairly uninspired "the Iraq War". I think only the biggie all-nations apocalyptic clashes qualify for numbering right now. We'll see.
Posted by: David Lawson at April 9, 2003 at 06:16 PMI geuss it was wishful thinking on my part :)
I just thought that a bigger war deserved a better sequal
Syria and Iran are such small fries....
Posted by: Aaron the Mad at April 9, 2003 at 08:02 PMAaron, Iran is the mother of all terrorism in a way that Saddam couldn't even come close to. It's also more of a threat precisely because it's less of a pariah than either of its fellow Axis of Evil members. Small fry? Not hardly. I hope those who suggest a democratic domino effect started by what we've done in Iraq are right, because once the mullahs in Teheran are out of power the Iranians could be among our best friends. But I'm very skeptical about whether this is possible.
As for the Syrians, two points: first, they may now the custodians of much of Saddam's WMD arsenal, as well as what remains of his inner circle; and second, they're the major of Hezbollah, the most professional terrorists in the Muslim world and arguably a greater threat than the much-reduced Al-Qaeda. Bashar Assad's hamfisted, self-important stupidity has put him in a place where he's pretty much asking for it; his father was just as much of a thug, but there's no way he would have ever painted himself into a corner for Saddam, who he despised.
Posted by: David Jaroslav at April 9, 2003 at 10:21 PM