January 26, 2003

There's a Fire Burning in the Crack of Doom

Oh dear, the intrepid researchers at the Landover Baptist Church have uncovered the truth about The Two Towers. Another facet to the Film Industry Cabal's plot to destroy the moral underpinnings of Western Society has been uncovered! Curses! Foiled again! On to Plan B: Return of the King, aka, Frodo Lights Gollum's Fire. Included in the article: a snippet of the film that apparently was deemed too avant-garde for the theatrical release; hopefully it will appear in the extended dvd. November, kiddies!

(Yes, I am aware that the "Landover Baptist Church" is a parody site.)

Via A Gaggle of Gals (and One Guy).

Posted by Andrea Harris at January 26, 2003 02:18 AM

There's a fire burning in the Cracks of Doom

As if my poor brain hasn't been damaged enough today!! I hope you realize when I hear any line that has "cracks of doom" in it, I'm going to lose it!

Posted by: Ith at January 26, 2003 at 02:25 AM

"“By moving dozens of deviant sex scenes between those hairy little perverts off screen, the producers were able to achieve a PG13 rating," says Pastor Deacon Fred. "And make no mistake, my dear friends; here at Landover Baptist, PG means 'pretty gay.'"

Yeah, pretty much. I hope there's a Director's Cut.

Posted by: Sean Kirby at January 26, 2003 at 12:19 PM

I never had much interest in being religious, but apparently there's going to be a "glorious barbecue" in the afterlife. Hope they have beer. And RIBS! Gotta have ribs!

Posted by: Ken Summers at January 27, 2003 at 09:34 AM