January 23, 2003

Judge throws out stupid lawsuit, shocks nation

Someone forgot to unscrew a federal justice's skull and remove his brains, and tragedy occurred: the fat kids who were suing McDonalds for their own act of being unable to stop shoving Big Macs down their own gullets were told by Judge Robert W. Sweet in no uncertain terms that their porcine condition is their own damn fault. I would like to impart my own message of uplift to the heart-broken would-be millionaires: "Ha ha, Fatty McFatperson and your little sister Tubby! You don't get to make money off of your own inability to control yourself! Now go on a freakin' diet and exercise regimen like everyone else has to do. Oh -- and kick your parents in the nads for letting you do this to yourself."

Posted by Andrea Harris at January 23, 2003 01:32 AM

Probably hard to find their parents' nads.

I myself wrote an extremely cruel and insensitive analysis of the judge's action.

Posted by: Steve H. at January 23, 2003 at 10:22 AM

Linked to your piece.

Posted by: Steve H. at January 23, 2003 at 10:57 AM

Thanks. :)

Posted by: Andrea Harris at January 23, 2003 at 11:36 AM

I was afraid these girls might be rediscovering their self-esteem after two days of ridicule.

So I wrote a mean song parody about them and put it on my blog.

Posted by: Steve H. at January 23, 2003 at 10:17 PM

Oh no, I'm FAT what am I going to do... sue McDonalds, a rich person can have anyone they want... Would be nice if the same brash display of common sense could happen with the whole tobacco company thing.

Posted by: Tinkerman at January 24, 2003 at 08:50 PM