Writings

Jason Boyett has an image up on his site of a painting of the Virgina Mary and Baby Jesus. He asks who painted it, and then reveals it in the full entry (which I will now just spoil, sorry): Adolph Hitler was the artist. Here’s what I said in the comments:

I thought the painting incredibly soppy and sentimental, if well-executed in a greeting-cardish sort of way. And knowing Hitler painted it is no surprise — most mass-murdering dictators have huge sentimental streaks, instead of being the cold, calculating motherf***ers everything thinks. No, think about it: you can approach a cold, calculating person via reason, but how can you reason with someone who gets teary-eyed over the idea of Mein Volk!. They base all their plans for everyone on their emotions. This is why I get a cold chill up my spine whenever I go into someone’s house and see a collection of Precious Moments figurines.

Now isn’t this true? Haven’t the worst people you’ve known in the world been the ones who have some sort of sickly obsession with some sort of gruesomely kitschy stuff like those hideous Precious Moments things, or unicorns, or Pokemon, or something like that? Maybe this explains my aversion to most anime — something that exaggeratedly twee can’t be healthy, and the people who are into it have to have something wrong with them somewhere. But it occurs to me that Hitler’s ideal “Aryan race” was something like a living Cute Thing — in other words, kitsch in human form. A race of people who look like Dresden figurines. Interesting that Kitsch is a German word too, showing that they aren’t always so self-unaware. Anyway, we must fight sentimentalism wherever it appears. Watch out for its cousins bathos and schmaltz.

(PS: who knows where I got the title of my post? If you put the correct source in the comments you get — well nothing, except me saying “You’re right! Congratulations!” Oh wait– you get validation, that’s it. Yeah.)

(Cross-posted from The Belfry.)

Added to the list of things I am tired of reading: the use of the word “hell” to denote emphatic approval or enthusiasm. It’s not that I have anything against people saying “hell!” Why, I did that just today when I found out I’d been sitting in a position that caused my leg to fall asleep. I believe I also said “damn!” and maybe “shit! piss! fuck!” as well.

This is to show you that I am not necessarily against the use of four-letter words, in an appropriate context.

However, I’d rather not see them used, for example, in an annoyingly upbeat article on the wonders of the iPad and how it will mean the death of trashy beach novels, or something. Like this:

You can sure as hell bet that author Mark Z. Danielewski is well aware of the final form of his next novel.

Now, what does that mean? Was that “as hell” really necessary? How much more “sure” is “sure as hell”? Is it really such a great difference that it needs to have that “as hell” appended on it so we may be sure (or “sure as hell”) that Mr. Danielewski has no namby-pamby, wishy-washy, uncertain knowledge of the final form of his novel, but real, solid, complete, set in stone surety. (Though is this actually possible? Do any writers really know for certain — with hellishly sure certainty — the final shape of their next novels? Or do they just sort of have an idea and maybe some notes scribbled on the back of envelopes? Heh — see what I did there: “scribbled,” “envelopes.” Today’s new, now novelist will certainly have his next novel notes entered into his iPod, or maybe into the flash drive that was surgically implanted into his cerebral cortex. Edited to add: actually, in reading about Mr. Danielewski, maybe he does know the exact form his next “novel” will take. The content, maybe not. Maybe not even when it is published. But now I’m not sure why the article’s author used this weird example instead of something more obviously a “formed content” book — like a math text or something. Oh wait — never mind Jake, it’s Literature Town.)

Anyway, here’s another example, by the same writer in the same article:

I loved the sexy-as-hell tactility of those little ink and paper bricks.

He’s talking here about making printed books out of primitive paper and ink, the way the barbarians and Republicans do. But I ask you, is the phrase “sexy-as-hell” really necessary to show how much he loved his books? Couldn’t he just have said “sexy”? That “as hell” is just annoying and unnecessary. I’ll bet if he were writing this article for a print publication instead of the internet, all the “as hells,” or at least most of them, would have been edited out. There’s a lot more room on the internet than there is on a piece of paper for repetitive phrases and other extraneous cruft of that sort. And that’s a real problem: it doesn’t do to crow about how this new electronic age of publishing without all the accouterments of the traditional publishing industry, like paper and various middlemen such as editors, will usher in an age of more high quality literature when it is obvious that you aren’t exactly a shining example of the new do-it-yourself editing-and-publishing movement.

Update: minor grammar corrections made.

Well, there hasn’t been any new snow since the first snowfall, and it’s been either “warm” (one day it got up into the high 50s — today it’s in the high 40’s) and rainy or if cold it’s been dry. Here and there I still see some lumps of snow on the ground that haven’t melted yet. But it’s supposed to snow I think on Monday night or Tuesday — it keeps changing. Anyway, that’s my snow report.

It may be a problem if it snows Monday night, because I have to drive to Waynesboro the next day. They do salt the roads here somewhat, but I’m a bit nervous about driving in snow and ice. I have done it a little around town, because the grocery store isn’t in what I consider walking distance (not in this weather anyway). And the reason that I have to drive to Waynesboro is… I got a job! Alas, it’s another temporary position, for a few weeks, but it’s going to be more hours than the previous one, and it will be in an office (of a small business) this time. I waited for almost two weeks to find out if I got it or not, and I didn’t want to say anything about it because I was afraid I’d jinx it or something. Anyway, that will bring me much-needed income for at least a little while. On the other hand, I probably won’t get my first paycheck for two or even three weeks, so any little present you want to drop in my Paypal account (moved over to the sidebar for your convenience) will be more than welcome. Thank god the friend I’m staying with hasn’t gotten sick of me yet…

I’ve had some complaints — well, not complaints exactly, maybe reminders — that some of you people actually like it when I do catblogging and put up pictures of my cat and so on. Well I’d love to put up pictures of my cat in the snow, but we took her outside, put her in it, and she immediately headed for the space underneath the back porch stairs. So I ended up retrieving her and taking her back inside, and she let me know for the rest of the day that she was not fooled: she figured out that weird white stuff was actually frozen water. I’m lucky she didn’t poop on my futon. So, no pictures of Xena in the snow. Yet. (I have plans… dastardly plans! Bwaha.) I don’t really have any recent photos of her either that are any good; I haven’t been doing much picture taking lately. Also, every time she gets in a cute position and I go for my camera, she gets up and follows me! I think she knows.

It’s that time o’ the month again, which means I have no inclination to do anything, including think. Also, the internet connection here has been spotty lately — for weeks now it’s just been dropping, and one of us will have to get up and turn the modem off and on. I don’t know if it’s a bad modem or something with the dsl, but my friend’s going to call his company and try to get something done. But it cuts into blogging impulse. I could write up a post and save it on the hard drive if need be, but usually by the time I get around waiting for the connection to restart I’m too irritated to do anything.

Also, I’ve been working more on my novels. Yes, plural — I got an idea for Novel No. 2, which I’ve been trying to sort out. I’m thinking of moving the novel chapter I’ve written off the site and just not having anything up for a while, until I at least have a first draft done of that one; I’m too erratic to do a regular serial type novel. But I’ve been writing a lot more than I used to, which is good. I’ve set up a writing site using Drupal, which is sort of wonky software but it’s workable, and doesn’t have as many bells and whistles as Wordpress to wait to load. If you want to see my sad, halting and uncertain progression on my novels feel free to visit, but I warn you: don’t expect polished works, I’m just trying to get stuff out of my head and into the world.

I have finally read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, so now I know what happened and I don’t have to avoid websites and internet discussions in fear of two-year-old spoilers. Which effort hadn’t been very successful anyway, though there was a bit of suspense when a part I had read about turned out to be in the beginning of the book, thus calling into question whether a certain main character survived after all…

I’m sure there are a couple of people in the highlands of New Guinea who haven’t read it yet, so I’ll avoid spoilers just to be kind. My review doesn’t really need them, as I have no quarrel with the resolution of the plot itself so see no need to go into detail. I was rather underwhelmed by the book as a whole. It read rather second-, or even first-drafty, as if the author rushed to get it out and then didn’t feel like wrestling it into better shape. I can’t blame Rowling for being tired of the series, what with all the hysteria and hype that has surrounded it for so long, and will continue to do so until the last movie of the last book is done. Still, she should have done some tweaking. Basically, the story’s rhythm is uneven — we spend far too much time with the three main characters (Harry, Ron, and Hermione, for our new visitors from Epsilon Eridani VI who have just been introduced to the series) doing nothing but hiding out and arguing, and then picking up their tent and stowing it in Hermione’s handy Tardis-bag (it’s bigger on the inside), and moving to another place; and not enough time with other perhaps less major characters who are, however, doing things. Which things we are mostly told about after the fact too many times. “Show not tell,” anyone? For the most part, the action scenes are too compressed and rushed, and the scenes of relatively peaceful interludes (such as Bill and Fleur’s wedding) go on too long. The writing is also not up to even Rowling’s simple par, and I actually had trouble getting into the book because the style was so perfunctory and lifeless.

Other problems: some major secondary characters are dispatched rather abruptly and barely mentioned again if at all. Others are brought up in the first part of the book, then moved out of the action for most of the middle only to be dragged back in for the climax. I am referring specifically to Snape and to Remus Lupin and Tonks. Snape is a major villain, he gets made headmaster when Voldemort’s crew takes over… and then we hardly hear anything about him until towards the ending when we get the revelation about him. Lupin gets an emotional scene with Harry near the beginning… then vanishes until he turns up, again, near the end. Tonks doesn’t get to do anything much at all, but instead disappears into having-Remus’-baby land, which is okay, except it makes her re-appearance at the ending showdown rather forced. (I can’t help thinking that no normal mother would abandon her baby even to fight an evil Dark Lord.) And we never find out what happens to Luna Lovegood’s father — this bugged me.

Many individual scenes were good, especially the action sequences (the meeting with Dumbledore’s cynical brother, the creepy sequence in Godric’s Hollow involving Harry’s parents’ grave and Bathilda Bagshot, Mrs. Weasley’s moment of awesome, Neville Longbottom’s continuing awesome — which alas, only appears in the climax — the last meeting of Snape and Harry, and so on) though like I said they were rushed and compressed; I am quite looking forward to how they will be done in the movie. I still like the way Harry isn’t made into some Wonder Child with Speshul Insight, but is instead more or less an ordinary teenager with personality flaws who yet does grow and improve. The relationship between Ron and Hermione is quite believable, and has been throughout the series. I’m afraid, though, that I can’t quite believe in the Harry-Ginny pairing, maybe because we never really get to know Ginny — we don’t see her doing much of anything except being sent into safety and looking at Harry yearningly. I don’t know why Rowling felt she even had to give Harry a girlfriend; he was certainly much too busy with other matters. Just because Ron and Hermione got together didn’t mean he had to make a similar life-bond at such a young age.

I wish also that more emphasis had been given to Voldemort’s actions. He was on his own evil quest all over the place, but merely seeing his actions through Harry’s eyes (or rather, scar) got tiresome after a while. It may have been less tiresome if Harry could have somehow broken out of the small corner of England he was in and gone on a chase of Voldemort across Europe, or something. Couldn’t he have borrowed a dragon? At least he’d have gotten out of that tent.

On the whole, though, it was a decent enough wrap-up. More characters than I thought survived. From what I’d read on the internet just about everyone got dispatched, but this didn’t turn out to be quite true. And that’s all I can think of to say about Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

That’s the play I saw tonight, acted at the American Shakespeare Center. It was hilarious. A review is coming up (along with reviews of all the other plays I’ve seen in town) when I get around to it. Here’s a taste: metafiction was not invented in the 20th century.

Here’s the text (which I’ve decided to put in the extended entry because that Google Books iframe does make the page load slow down):
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Oh, Internet Archive Wayback Machine, I do heart you so. I don’t know if any of you, my readers, have noticed my little “Asides” posts over on the side menu, but I’ve mentioned in the last two that I had found some of my old (and as I thought, gone forever) blog from 2002 on that website and have been copying what I could find, preliminary to uploading it again on my own server somewhere. Well, guess what I also found — a short story I’d written for a creative writing class I took the last year I was at university. It turned out rather well, I thought, but somehow I had managed to lose all my filed copies and printouts, don’t ask me how. I knew I had uploaded it on a couple of my old websites, but those urls were defunct as well. But I finally found a copy on said archiving site. I’ve uploaded it here, so if you’re curious go read. It’s not science fiction or fantasy, but a straight “literary fiction” story since that’s what we were supposed to write, but as I said, I thought it turned out rather well anyway.

I’m so glad I found the damned thing, its loss had been driving me insane for nearly four years.

I think I’m coming down with a cold or something or at least my allergies are acting up; anyway, I’m feeling rather underpowered.

Moving on, I thought I coined this word the other day: “ostentatheist,” to describe a certain type of atheist who is not simply content with sleeping in on a Sabbath morning and not believing in any sort of god, but who must drag all others into his slapfight with a god that doesn’t exist. Just in case, though, I looked it up, to make sure someone hadn’t gotten there first. In a way, someone did:
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If you check out the navigation bar, or the side menu, you’ll see I’ve started adding stories, essays, and the (finally) completed first chapter of my science fiction novel. I’m working on a better “splash” page no I’m not I’m being really lazy but I’m at least starting to think about it!

Anyway, in life news… today is voting day in Virginia, so later I’m going to vote. I was supposed to take the car to a local mechanic my friend recommended (the electrical system light came on, and the manual advised I take it to a Toyota dealership — as if, like I can afford being charged dealer prices, so I asked my friend and he told me about a mechanic here) but I just couldn’t get myself moving this morning. Maybe it’s because I finally realized that daylight savings time has ended, or not ended, or whatever “fall back” means, two days after the fact. Well, I never worry anymore because my computer and cell phone change themselves, but since I never worry about the time change anymore that means I don’t turn my clock forward or back right away. Which means I would look at the correct time on the computer, and the hour-off time on the clock, and not notice, because… I don’t know, I haven’t eaten enough braaaains! lately.

Also it’s a teacher work day which means there would be no call-ins for substitutes which means I slept in which means I overslept which means I need more coffee. And to get dressed because in about an hour and a half my friend will be here to take me to vote.

Anyway: go ahead and read some stories, or check out chapter one of the novel, or read the essay I uploaded (I wrote it about nine years ago; I rescued it from my Geocities site). I may get around to uploading more old stuff, or maybe I’ll write some new stuff. But not until more coffee has been consumed.