For. The. Last. Time. KODAK IS NOT GOING OUT OF BUSINESS. THERE IS NO “DEMISE” OF KODAK. CHAPTER 11 IS A RESTRUCTURING MOVE. THEIR “OBSOLETE” FILM DIVISION IS THE ONLY ONE THAT STILL MAKES ANY KIND OF PROFIT, SO GUESS WHAT — THEY ARE KEEPING IT GOING. YEAH.
In other words, they’re actually doing something right for probably the first time in 100 years. Their situation now is not at all analogous to the moribund, blind-to-reality, “it can’t happen to us,” “why should we listen to the peons” traditional publishing industry. A better comparison would be to the Kodak of yesteryear and their efforts to control the film camera industry by dick moves like 620 film, and APS film.
And actually, I don’t even think that works. Because it’s like this: film is not easy to produce, and there are only a few other companies in the world (Fujifilm, Adox) who still make it. Film manufacturing needs specialized equipment and people with the special knowledge of how to operate that equipment. Text, on the other hand, is easily produced. You don’t need specialized equipment or knowledge, just a standard modern education and a writing implement. And with the advent of the internet, e-readers, and companies like Amazon, a writer no longer needs to depend on a traditional publisher to get his works printed and advertized.
Vermin Supreme for President. Yup, I know who I’m casting my vote for. You wanna know why? Here:
5. HE’LL GIVE EVERY AMERICAN A PONY
Forget all those other nine points. This is the one that means something to the preteen girl that every American woman really is. So, I couldn’t have a pony because blah blah we lived in the city blah blah no place to put it even though I said it could stay with me in my bedroom? blah blah huh? Well guess what — the new president says he’s going to give me my pony! Take that, dead mom and dad! (My parents, from that Great Bar In The Sky: “You can’t even ride. When we took you to the pony ride in Homestead you got a cramp and started whining!” Shut up! Just shut up!)
Why do keyboards still have a capslock key? I really don’t think they are necessary; if you need sections of text to be all caps you can set that up in the stylesheet. Otherwise it’s not really necessary to have more than a scattering of completely capitalized words or phrases in a block of text on a web page. Any more than a small amount used for emphasis is “shouting” and has been since the internet was a baby network living on a couple of servers in a university somewhere.
My problem with the capslock key — the fact that I KEEP HITTing it by mistake (oops — see?) — would be solved if keyboard manufacturers would at least move the damn thing. Right now where it is — located between the tab and left shift keys — is right where my finger wants to go all the time. I aim for tab, I hit capslock. I need to hit the left shift key so I can make a single capital “L” and I end up typing “LARDBUTT” instead of “Lardbutt” because again I hit the capslock key. I mean fuck. So what keyboard manufacturers should do is move the thing far away from the regular path of typing fingers. Maybe up there by the escape key, or over on the other side to the right of the +/= key or whatever is up there. That way the stupid thing could still be available for people who want to type EVERYTHING IN CAPITAL LETTERS BECAUSE THEY ARE NIMRODS but the rest of us wouldn’t have to spend so much time swearing and backspacing over the words they did not want to capitalize but in fact did because the capslock key is right there in the center of everything.
PS: the location of the capslock key is actually a vestige of typewriters, which actually (in their manual form) have a “key” that holds the left shift key down so you can type a long series of capitalized words without having to use a finger to hold the shift key down. It was, literally, a “lock” in that it locked the shift key into position. The electronic capslock should never have been a lone key by itself. Lots of compact keyboards these days have a lot of things relegated to a set of “function” options that are called by pressing a function key. (Many laptops, for example, have a numerical keypad that is called up this way.) The capslock could be relegated to one of the function key options.
I kept coming upon this image:
And I realized I hated it. There’s just something about the guy’s expression. Doesn’t he look like a hipster douchebag making that sarcastic fake-surprised face they make when they want to make fun of someone? Every time I see that face I feel the urge to punch whoever it was right in the guy’s “oooh, quel surprise!” mouth. Of course, I could tell by the style that it was from some old painting, so finally I looked it up using Google’s image lookup thing to find out who this hated person was.
It’s Rembrandt. A self-portrait. So, apparently Rembrandt used to be a sarcastic hipster douchebag that I would have punched in the face if I’d lived back then.
He’s like a human Lego minifigure.