Spock's Beard

EPIC FAIL: Christian Science Monitor says Pentagon shooter right wing extremist

Lesse here.

1) 9/11 Truther
2) Doper
3) Registered Democrat

That certainly sounds like a right wing extremist to me.

So, since I don’t do/am not any of those things, I guess I’m a liberal again? It’s so hard to keep track of this stuff.

You know that bracelet with her deployed son’s name on it that Sarah Palin was wearing at that speech (the one with The Hand) that was a totally shocking disgusting inappropriate oh my goddess she wants her son dead that’s for POWs MIAs KIAs she’s so stupid for wearing it is she an idiot thing to wear? Well…

…turns out it’s a “Soldier’s Deployment Bracelet,” and was sent to her by the company that makes them. They sent one to Joe Biden too. (His son is also in the military.)

Well, well, but — she wrote on her hand!

(Crossposted here.)

…Sarah Palin used crib notes she wrote on her hand during a post speech question/answer session at some place.

WE. ARE. SO. DOOMED.

Seriously, if you had any doubt that the United States has become a permanent high school in which we are all perpetually trapped, this should be the final proof. I haven’t seen people so upset about inked hands since… well, since I was in high school and some kid got caught looking at the test answers that he’d Bic’d onto his knees in Geometry I. I mean, I write stuff to jog my memory all the time onto the palm of my hand, though I have been informed that that is sloppy and I should carry around a pack of index cards at all times. Index cards that I can drop or forget. One thing about your own hand, it usually remains attached to your body.

Really, I can’t believe that people are freaking out at this. There is just something about Sarah that sends people off into the stratosphere that I just don’t get. Reagan apparently had the same thing. I recall at the time (when I was much, much more liberal than I am now) he sort of mildly irritated me and I still don’t get the adulation but I thought that many of the jokes at his expense (not to mention the masks and the puppets and so on) were in bad taste. There’s just something about people taking politics so personally that I don’t get. Somewhere someone is developing a fine case of acid reflux because they can’t stand the way Palin parts her hair. Anyway, if you want to get the full flavor of “Sarah Palin is going to lead us into DOOOOOOOM” paranoia, feel free to visit the Fark and Huffington Post threads. (Yeah, this all comes from those RELIABLE two sources.) And here is my tribute to palm-of-the-hand note-takers everywhere.

Update on another yet somehow related (as I am too lazy to write a new post) topic: get a load of the compassionate and concerned lefty side of the blogosphere as they basically accuse Jim Treacher, who is still being treated for his broken knee, of lying about what happened when he was hit by a van driven by a government employee. Yes, I really want my future in the hands of people like these.

Okay, this, this is why–

Wait.

Look, the only thing preventing me from running around my apartment waving an ax right now is the fact that this isn’t my apartment but a friend’s apartment and me running around with an ax might upset him. I am nothing if not considerate. HOWEVER. I am feeling just a little bit like KILLING someone right now, because of shit like this:

ARGH

(Click for somewhat bigger and louder.)

And I had to read on a site I read sometimes that since I am on the “other side” from Obama supporters that means I am so because he is “the wrong skin color” and he doesn’t have an “American-sounding name.”

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU…………

I can’t even. Really. I have had it. I am so sick of this. I mean — I can’t even think of anything to write about it. This is how it’s gonna be. You oppose anything Obama says or dare to make even the most mild criticism and you’re a racist. That’s it. Game over. Accept your destiny, you racist you! So fine. I’m a racist. I don’t like people of any skin color but mine. That means really pale people too without blemishes, acne, and freckles. If you don’t have old blemish scars, acne, zits, and freckles you are NOT MY KIND and possibly not a REAL AMERICAN and you have to have the last name of HARRIS or else you’re not AMERICAN and you are INFERIOR and efghjklkjkhjghdtrytukyuiyutydhfgfcvhbghjgftyruytuyiuoipo……

[Ummm. Hello there. Is this thing on? Oh -- I see. Thanks. Anyway-- this is Xena. You may have read something about me on the internet courtesy of the human who usually posts on this site. Yeah, that's my human. I'm the cat. I usually let her have her way, do what she wants, sit and stare at this stupid glowing thing and tap around on it, etc., because it seemed to keep her calm or at least in the same room in case I needed her for something important -- but now I see I should have chewed through the thing's tendons, or veins, or whatever that blue cord is that plugs into the back of it (she fiddles with it constantly so I think it must keep the glowing box alive). Anyway, the human has had some sort of... episode, and she may not be staring at this thing and tapping on it and whatever; in fact, when I pushed it towards her right now where she is curled up in the corner, she just whimpered and curled up into an even smaller ball. So anyway. At least I've figured out how to get the food out of the bag... Anyway, smell ya later! Not. You humans aren't exactly a bed of catnip, IYKWIMAITTYD.]

UPDAYTE: HA HA HA. THAT IS SO RAYCIST.

In my Tumblr list I came upon a link to this TIME Magazine photo article, histrionically titled “The 10 Worst Things About The Worst Decade Ever.” I kid you not. Prompted by the kneejerk emotionalism of most of the replies I decided to look at it. I was not exactly “hit in the heart” or devastated or anything like that, because here is what events TIME chose to use to represent why the 2000’s are in their eyes the “worst decade ever!”

1. The 2000 Election fuss, illustrated with some guy peering at a ballot card through a microscope. I know, I know, I clutched my pearls…
2. The September 11, 2001 attack on our country by treacherous and evil Muslim terrorists. Yeah — number two, behind hanging chad guy.
3. We invaded Afghanistan. Oh noes! We should have sent a sternly worded letter instead.
4. We invaded Iraq. Oh noes! Now we don’t have that nice Saddam Hussein around to accuse Republicans of palling around with anymore! And he was so accommodating to the media, too, unlike the US military.
5. The tsunami in the Indian Ocean. Yes, that sucked… but somehow TIME manages to make it sound like it wouldn’t have been so bad if it weren’t for the US dragging everything down.
6. Hurricane Katrina devastates New Orleans, which city is supposedly “so integral to America’s self-image.” Yeah, what would we do without cheap plastic beads, “show us your tits!”, drunken hordes of college students, the most hideous crack neighborhoods I have ever seen (and I grew up in Miami, famous for the, er, “quality” of its crack neighborhoods), and zydeco music? Well, they do have some nice restaurants, I’ll grant them that.
7. The market melted down, which meant some people who were living beyond their means now aren’t. I know, it’s like my gut just twisted in compassion or something, ya know?
8. Bernie Madoff gets sent to prison. Yeah, I would have thought the imprisonment of a crook who apparently bilked the entire Earth would be a good thing about the decade, but I don’t write for TIME.
9. The American auto industry collapses. Oh but wait — didn’t the auto industry actually get shored up by Federal money so that they will still get to put out their “ugly, low quality cars with shameful gas mileage” only now the American taxpayer is paying to keep those workers on the assembly lines (or more probably, with their feet up in the break room doing the crossword puzzle at $75.00 per hour because no one wants to buy GM cars even with President Hopey McChangester’s backing)? Well yeah, that does suck now that I think about it.
10. Guantanamo, where we treated those nice terrorists to “brutal” interrogation techniques like shouting and pouring water on their faces. It’s like America became Nazi Germany overnight!

I swear that’s the list. Visit the link to get the full treatment, because I can’t do it justice.

And here is what I said on Tumblr:

You know what? This list is just bullshit. For one thing, most of it was “Aw, a bunch of Americans lost some money!” Bernie fuckin’ Madoff goes to jail is one of the “worst things I’ ever”? OH WHAT BULLSHIT. And the Detroit car industry wasn’t, actually, allowed to fall apart but is instead shored up by government money, so what is TIME crying about there? Didn’t Obama save GM’s ass like they think government is supposed to do? And again with Katrina — “Waaah, our party town got wet, and mean old government” (they said “all levels of government” but you know they mean about EVIL GEORGE BOOOOSH and the Fed) “let babies and puppies drown!” What about the rest of the Gulf Coast that got pasted (by actually getting hit full on with a restrengthened hurricane, not brushed by a weakened Cat 3 and then brought down by a later collapse of the rotting, neglected levees) and have cleaned up with nary a complaint — or sobbing, overemotional tv coverage — from anyone? But Pass Christian didn’t have a Tipitina’s or a Cafe Du Monde, so screw ‘em.

Yeah, 9/11 sucked, but when it comes to “worst attacks ever” that devastated whole buildings and killed loads of people at once, has anyone at TIME heard of Hiroshima and Nagasaki? (I’ve got the 1940s on the white courtesy phone, TIME; they’d like to have a word with you about this “worst decade ever” thing.) Nice of them to mention the tsunami, but it looks kind of… out of place when paired with the DEVASTATION caused by some people losing homes to foreclosure that they shouldn’t have bought in the first place because they couldn’t effing afford them… And I love how TIME has arbitrarily decided that invading Afghanistan and Iraq is part of the “worst” things of the decade. You know, I’m sure it was from the Osama Bin Laden’s and Saddam Hussein’s viewpoint, but since when do we care what the enemy thinks? Oh, I forgot — NUANCE.

And then they have to go and put Guanatanamo in there. Oh oh oh! Guantanamo is the worst prison ever that prisoners of war have been kept in in the history of all mankind! Worse than Stalag 17! No — I’ve got it: worse than Auschwitz and Bergen-Belsen combined! And making those nice Muslims that our mean, nasty soldiers scooped up just like so many innocent little bunny foofoos stay in our nasty, horrible, worse-than-anything-ever-in-the-universe prison at Guantanamo (which Obama still hasn’t closed! But that’s because Dick Cheney has one of his daughters in a secret dungeon prison!) is worse than the Bataan Death March!

Fuck you, TIME Magazine. I will never buy another of your rags (not that I’ve bought one in years), and if I still had my copies with the covers showing the tearing down of the Berlin Wall and the time U2 was chosen best band in the galaxy or something, I’d rip them to shreds and send them to you with a copy of this post.

I usually use Tumblr for my silly Doctor Who natterings, but I couldn’t just let this nonsense pass. So you know, I guess a lot of people will unfollow me now. Oh, boo hoo! Fuck ‘em.

Get a load* of what Obama’s “Safe Schools Czar” (WITF is that anyway?) apparently is promoting as proper reading material for kids grades 7-12. (Warning — the post at the link contains material that is not safe for work or brains.) Let me just say here and now that I used to read my parents’ erotica paperbacks (by such authors as Anne Rampling) when I was around fourteen or fifteen, but I did it the right way — by sneaking around and doing it on the sly. I would have died if they’d handed me, say, Exit To Eden when I was twelve, much less have found Erica Jong on my junior high English class reading list. Though it would have made book reports, which kids in Florida had to do for every single goddamn class including home ec and PE, a whole lot more interesting to do…

Anyway, this list is not only disgusting, but badly written — I’ve read better gay porn on Doctor/Master slash fic sites. (Warning: not safe for work, probably, or brains, definitely.) Not only is the new Progressive, Enlightened, Tolerant Administration of Hope and Change trying to corrupt the morals of the nation’s youth, it’s attempting to ruin any literary ability our children might have. Whatever your opinion about porn, gay or otherwise, I think we can all agree on the need to promote good writing.

I’m hoping it’s some kind of joke, myself.

(Via Ace of Spades.)

*No pun intended. Really.

I was going to write a post about the latest efforts by the Hope ‘N’ Change crew over in DC to drag us back to those wonderful days of the 1970s, when America was decadent, demoralized, and despairing — namely the decision to try the admitted mastermind behind 9/11 (which was an act of war) in a criminal trial in New York; and another entry in the bizarre impulse of Obama to grovel and genuflect before world leaders of non-European countries. But… I just can’t.

I will say one thing though: why doesn’t it bother any of the liberal Obama supporters to see a black man bowing and scraping to an authority figure? I’ll bet it bothers black Americans a whole lot. I can remember when even the idea that a black man should be polite to anyone other than a fellow black would get him sneered at by some as an “Uncle Tom.” Now all that means is a black person who thinks for himself instead of falling in lockstep with their Democrat masters, most of whom are white and upper middle class. Well, at least the new plantation has air-conditioning and tv.

Update: what the hell, is that lip gloss he’s wearing? And why do I think that “obamao” is a swear word in Mandarin? Or maybe Cantonese or Szechuan. (Note: all spelling of Chinese dialect names comes from Chinese restaurant menus.)

Rather buried in the mix about this post on a successful effort by Muslims to get the crucifix banned from Italian public schools is the fact that they also want an “offensive” fresco removed from the Bologna cathedral, and for Dante to be removed from the Italian school curriculum. I certainly hope that the European court, which so far has demonstrated only a complete lack of spine, resists that nonsense. For one thing, fuck you, Muslims, don’t go in the goddamn cathedral if the mural bothers you so much; for another, removing Dante from the school syllabus in Italy would be like removing Shakespeare from British schools, or have they done that already? After all, there are all those “offensive” Muslim characters — Othello, not so much for murdering his wife, but for marrying an infidel; Aaron the villainous Moor in Titus Andronicus — though considering his name was “Aaron” you could say his name is a twofer swipe at Mussulmen and Jews.

In any case, I do hope I get to go to Europe some day while there are still cathedrals and other things from my own heritage, before it’s all torn down and replaced by mosques and “Diversity Awareness Centers” — which I imagine will look like old Soviet museums, with faded red posters sagging on the stained concrete walls, neglected by all and sundry. Anyway, how’s that European Union thing working out for you, Italy?

(Via Kathy Shaidle.)

It turns out that, unlike in the past he wasn’t a Presbyterian, but a Muslim. What an astonishing development! Muslims are usually such quiet, peaceful people who never give anyone any trouble. Just look at the newspapers — you never read anything about troublesome Muslims.

Oh well, it probably had nothing to do with his religion, since we all know that Muslims are firmly of the belief that secular life and religious life should be separate. He was probably just depressed over his Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome from the trauma and stress he was experiencing at the thought of all the trauma and stress he would experience in Iraq, where he didn’t want to be deployed because Muslims hate violence and war and stuff. A kind of Pre-Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome, if you will.

Next day update: Guy Fawkes Day is being blamed. No, really. Yeah, all those Guy Fawkes bonfires across Texas, and the Muslim’s natural sympathy for the Catholic struggle against the Protestants in 17th century Britain, must have set him off. (Via Kathy Shaidle.)