Hating a playa’

I meant to get to this a while back, but I got sidetracked. Anyway, since I’ve decided this is going to be the Summer of Poking Holes In Everyone’s Favorite Idea, here’s my next victim: that species of internet persona known as the PUA, or “pick-up-artist.” You seen the websites — Roissy (now “Citizen Renegade”), and… well, all the other ones, I’m too lazy to link. I will first admit that much of what Roissy and crew have to say is interesting and I often agree with much of their viewpoint. However, I have one little bone to pick with them: almost every time they talk about how difficult and bitchy American women are, yadda yadda, it turns out that their favorite places to go and pick out women are always bars. Sure, these places are high-end, fancy places where the upper income brackets like to go to order pear-citron vodkatinis, and as such they have more bright lights and shiny surfaces than the traditional watering hole, but they are still bars, and you know what kind of woman hangs out in a bar? Yep. So no wonder, guys, that your romantic lives have been so disappointing. If you want a faithful, loving, feminine woman, you need to 1) stop hanging out in bars, and 2) probably leave your large urban area altogether. Also stay away from universities and places with lots of lawyers, and you might have to settle — yes, I said settle — for a woman who isn’t a perfect 10 and doesn’t know all about your pop culture fads. She might even be — gasp — religious. And here is the major stumbling block for the lovelorn PUA (when he’s finally through denying he’s not lovelorn): most of these guys claim to be atheist, but atheist women tend to at least think they are smarter than other people and as such are high-maintenance so we’re right back in the “bitch” area. But none of these guys will dare go to anything so unfashionable as a church for their wife material, so they’re destined to be forever dissatisfied.

Speaking of male needs for women to fit into their pre-conceived “romantic” Ideal Woman straightjacket… Kathy linked favorably to this article on what women should do to attract men — or at least attract the author. Actually I disagree with her on the whole “butt” thing. I’ve had too many women drool to me about some guy’s ass to think it’s just some sort of lie. Personally I’m not an ass-woman; I’m more of a hands-and-cheekbones woman. Hands with long fingers and prominent, flexible wrists, and high cheekbones, rowr. Ahem. Anyway, let’s forget about me and my peculiar likes and get to this list. Oh dear. Is this supposed to convince me this guy is a sex god whose advice all women should follow? “Socks are sexy,” telling women how to groom themselves and wipe themselves after going to the toilet… does he demand that they have good BM’s too? Good God, dating this guy must be like dating your grandmother. Sexyyyyy… not. And, er, how about not telling women to “make a baby” without first marrying them. Pick one. Give her babies. I will say it now: pregnant women who are not married might be “feminine,” but it’s the femininity of a street cat. I’m pretty sure that base animalistic behavior isn’t what this guy is shooting for when he talks about “femininity” so why avoid the m-word? I’ll tell you why: he’s a typical “player” who wants to have his cake and eat it too. It’s true that these days that’s almost possible — but he needs to cut the crap about “wimmen without kids aren’t feminine” because not marrying the woman that you got pregnant isn’t very masculine.

10 thoughts on “Hating a playa’

  1. CGHill

    “But settling is so very beta.”

    The number of 10s is exceeded – by a factor of 10, at least – by the number of individuals who insist that they’re entitled to one, and that their techniques, such as they are, will pay off in the short run. (Because they’re never thinking about the long run, are they?)

  2. B Lewis

    I have to laugh at those Roissy guys. A Real Man does not have a website about being a Real Man, nor does he use cute college-dorm bullshit terms like “alpha male”. He just… is.

    A Real Man spends his free time making love to the wife or girlfriend of the Internet Alpha Male instead of sitting around the house like a faggot writing about what it means to be a Real Man.

    They’re like all nerds. Just ignore them and they’ll go re-watch The Princess Bride or something.

    1. Andrea Harris Post author

      Actually, I’m not sure I’d classify “making love to the wife or the girlfriend” of someone else as the behavior of a “Real Man.” Real Men have their own women — or if they don’t, they go find one that isn’t already being plowed by some other guy.

    2. Steve Skubinna

      Just as giraffes and wombats don’t obsess with how to be a giraffe or wombat, let alone try getting in touch with their inner wildebeest, real… men, women, anything, don’t try to figure out how to be real.

      For the rest, there’s an entire industry of self help publishers and lifestyle magazines. Just as for Al Gore, there was Naomi Wolf.

      What kind of nebbish asks a feminist for advice on being an Alpha Male? Never mind – some questions answer themselves.

    3. Andrea Harris Post author

      That’s another reason I can’t get into this whole “alpha male/beta male” bullshit. When I hear that, I just think of Naomi Wolff and Al Gore. Those are not exactly two people I want to have to think about, ever.

  3. SPQR

    Been married for 28 years now, so I’m so out of it that I would have to mail myself International airmail post paid to get back in.

    I’m so clueless.

Comments are closed.