A note to gay people and other people living “alternative” lifestyles (like, say, women who choose to be childless spinsters, ahem): part of not joining in on some part of mainstream, “normal” society is the fact that you will never have 100% approval from everyone. This includes your family; in fact your family is going to be the main stumbling block to anything you want to do that disturbs their idea of what sort of person you should be, whether that is deciding to be a writer instead of a doctor, moving to a faraway town away from your family, or being gay instead of straight. And when you get away from your family, you’ll meet jerks.
This is a fact of human life, and has been ever since there have been humans. It will never change. For some reason our culture has developed the notion that 1) everyone should approve of everything, that there should be no disapproval ever; and 2) that without 100% approval of 100% of society life isn’t worth living. This is both ridiculous and unattainable, and if you ask me is more the cause of suicide among young gays than some phantom “homophobia,” not to mention much of the dysfunction among the rest of the populace. In earlier ages it was a lot more dangerous to be different in any way from the mainstream — you could be put in prison for acts which are now celebrated on television — and yet many of the odd and the deviant went on to do whatever they wanted anyway and even attained fame and fortune. The problem with society today isn’t that we are so gosh-darned mean, it’s that we no longer feel it necessary to instill people with strong characters so they can deal with life’s shit. Instead we told them that shit had been outlawed. But you can’t outlaw shit.
There will always be frail, weak people who can’t take it. There’s not much that we can do about that either, except to not make things even worse by telling them lies and giving them false expectations of a perfect, kindly world where nothing bad will ever happen. It’s the same thing as telling people who make $30,000 a year that they should be able to afford a $500,000 home, all they have to do is sign up for this no-down, 50-year, adjustable rate mortgage, because the market would “always” be strong. Only it’s human nature we’re asking to sign on the dotted line. Don’t do it. The house always wins.
Update: hey, you know the remarks Paladino was supposed to have said (that the tweet I linked to above referenced)? Well guess what: he didn’t say them or even write them. His speech was prepared by someone else. (Big mistake that, IMHO, but pols do it all the time these days.)