This president knows what everyone needs, unlike all those other presidents who didn’t know jack. He knows that what we need to solve all our problems is for us to help Muslims feel good about their contributions to science and stuff. Because Lord knows they never brag about the way they invented numbers and math and never grouse and complain about how they aren’t getting enough credit for basically inventing everything.* Yep, what Muslims need is more self-esteem.
And in other news, the First Lady does her part to make Muslim women feel better about wearing burkas.
We’re so lucky to have elected the smartest couple in the world to be our Dear Leader.
*Afternoon update: I thought I’d just add that this is supposed to be sarcastic. I realize that the Muslims didn’t “invent” any of the stuff they are always saying they did. It was actually the Russians who invented everything. It’s true. Just ask Ensign Chekhov. What do you mean he’s not real?