Monthly Archives: March 2010

TEETH

I just got back from the dentist. I finally have had the three most unsightly of my rotten front teeth drilled, filled, and rebuilt. I already look at least 80% better. In about three weeks I get the others done. I can hardly wait. Now I’m sitting here with a numb face, waiting for the novocaine to wear off so I can have something to eat.

Bow wow wow

OK, I’ll leave out their habit of puppy eating (Fettucini El Fido; Borzoi Bok Choy; etc.)

(From an email sent to Kathy Shaidle)

This is just a tangential issue but it’s something that has irritated me for a while. I’ve got some news for her correspondent: puppies are just meat, just like lamb and bunny and all the other cute animals. I probably wouldn’t eat dog unless I had to, but I don’t have the same sentimental attachment to Korean table doggy as I would to, say, a dog of my own. But I do eat lamb (I’ve only eaten rabbit once, in Europe a long time ago, and it tasted good but it was very tough). I know people who won’t eat lamb because “Awww, cute!” Well if we want to keep on making fun of vegetarians who won’t eat “anything with a face” then we shouldn’t make fun of Koreans for eating something with a face that we Western meat eaters don’t.

How Americans Fill Out Their Census Forms

Or, How Americans Deal With Intrusive Government Questionnaires. Anyway, this is the sort of thing that makes this country great. Samples:

I planned on filling all the checkboxes in.

I did what I had to do. What I had to do was make my own box, checked it, and then wrote white is a color, not a race on the margin. Then what I had to do was lift the tails of all three chihuahua’s and dab that thing on their little bho’s. It is in the mail.

I’m just going to staple my Federation passport to it.

To be honest I was going to put in ”Dunedain”.

Somehow I can’t see anyone in any other country reacting this way. Unless it’s in one of those formerly Communist countries in Eastern Europe where some of the citizenry have learned what cooperating with the government gets you.

Death of a Sales Technique

This is my reaction to something I got in my email from The American Spectator. It’s part of their email, which is a come-on to subscribe to their publication. It’s supposed to be a “partial list” of characteristics of the typical American Spectator fan. My comments are in the ineptly Windows-Painted-in red:

Frenemy's List?

Frenemy's List?

Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly flattered. I don’t recall how I got on the Speccy’s email list — I may have read an article on their website from time to time, but I don’t remember signing up for anything. Then again, I think they’re one of those sites that have the annoying “please help us keep the lights on and feed our starving chillun!” advert boxes that pop up despite the ad-blocking software I have installed, and I may have clicked the wrong place on it in an effort to get it to go away. No matter — I doubt they’re conservative enough for me (I don’t think they’d agree with me on the necessity for a mandatory week in the stocks for people who keep sending you invites to join Facebook and then “friend” them, for instance) — so I won’t be subscribing, but if this is the future of conservatism in America we’d better get ready for a long, dark night of Democrat rule.

Windozed

Okay, I’ve reintalled a fresh copy of Windows XP Home (service pack 2) onto my desktop, and it’s downloading a bunch of updates (including I suppose Service Pack 3) as I type. My next task is to install my printer and camera software, all my other programs, and then go into a three year coma. When I come out of it maybe they’ll have invented a computer operating system that didn’t feel like major surgery without anesthesia to install.

Make that a three-hundred-year coma.