A message to a spammer

Very clever — you’ve programmed your bot to almost communicate like a person. For half a second I thought that the person with the rocketmail address and the website that was nothing but a loud, ugly acne treatment ad (the ad did effectively resemble an internet version of the condition it was hawking a treatment for) was serious with the comment asking if I had ever thought of adding videos to my site because “I enjoyed your article but I guess I’m more of a visual reader.”

But only for half a second. To spammer oblivion the message went. IF, however, you do happen to be a real person and are confused by my actions, allow me to invite you to fuck yourself with a Flip camera. They’re on sale at Amazon.

I hate spammers and people whose websites are nothing but a single ugly page hawking an overpriced product that does the same thing as a generic brand I can get at Rite-Aid for a few bucks and people who tell me to add memory-hogging junk to my own website because they are too lazy/stupid/both to read THEM BIG WERDS.